Fundraiser moves at good clip

The fourth annual St. Baldrick's Foundation head-shaving fundraiser at McMullan's Irish Pub was a big success despite the down economy, but forgive me if I don't appear surprised.

A lack of eyebrows will do that to a guy.

That's right, eyebrows. It's a pretty good story, one I'll get to shortly.

First, about the fundraiser. For the past four years, pub proprietors Lynn and Brian McMullan and a small group of volunteers have organized the St. Baldrick's shave in conjunction with the national foundation, which annually raises the most money of any private charity to battle childhood cancer. This year, Fado and Nine Fine Irishmen also held St. Baldrick's events.

Each year Amelia celebrates her continued recovery from brain and spinal cancer by shaving my head at St. Baldrick's. This year, her team included Aunt Christeen Vergith, Mary Alice Morgan and Bill Himel. Our donors came from throughout the valley from cab company owner Ray Chenoweth and attorney Lou Tavano to Blue Cube Marketing's Tami Belt and the good folks at A Twisted Tulip florist shop. District Attorney David Roger kept his hair, but parted with a donation. And 7-year-old Zoey Bunjter raided her piggy bank to contribute $2 in pennies.

Amelia did a stellar job shaving her old man's melon. By now, she's a seasoned pro and no longer leaves divots like a weekend golfer.

Now, about those eyebrows.

When we were nearly finished shaving, my cousin Steve Mathis stepped forward with a request: He would contribute $5,000, but only if I shaved my eyebrows. Not trim them or pluck them, but buzz them right off.

My mind raced as I considered the ramifications. "Guy who shaves his head: kind of cool," I thought. "Guy who shaves his eyebrows: kind of creepy."

When it comes to eyebrows, most men and women have very different perspectives. Women regularly lose their eyebrows in the name of fashion. Men who lose their eyebrows are named Frank Marino.

Until that moment, I'd never given my eyebrows much thought -- or much grooming, for that matter. Suddenly, I was feeling very fond of them. And I decided I preferred my eyebrows arched, furrowed, and even knitted: Any way, but on the floor.

I reminded myself it was for a good cause and heard my daughter's happy laughter through the cackles of the crowd. That sealed the deal.

When it came time for the brow removal, I urged caution. The R-J already has a columnist with an eye patch.

A moment later, the eyebrows fell to the floor like a couple of caterpillars.

Nice. Bald and browless. It's quite a look.

How can I best describe it?

The term "naked mole rat" comes to mind.

John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith.