‘God’ loses appeal; wanted Clinton, O’Connor or Judge Jackie Glass as his standby counsel

What do U.S. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor and Clark County District Judge Jackie Glass have in common?

They are Almighty God’s chosen standby counsel.

In this case, “Almighty God” is Val Thomas, who last week lost his appeal in New York’s Ulster County after a jury convicted him on five counts of assaulting police officers, one count of criminal mischief – for assaulting a police cruiser – and one count of resisting arrest.

In addition to being Almighty God, Thomas also told his attorneys to acknowledge he was “the legitimate King of the United States.”

Thomas was miffed when his attorneys refused to claim he was immune from prosecution due to the “treaty known as ‘The General Agreement to End World War III,’ which had been ratified by the United States and every other country that existed in 1998”

Did we mention Thomas was sent to a psychiatric facility after he was indicted? Did we mention he was initially deemed incompetent but later was found mentally sound?

The irony was not lost on Glass, who knows something about mental capacity as the judge who handles competency hearings every Tuesday and Thursday at the Regional Justice Center.

She has no idea how Thomas came across her name, but she appreciates his obvious high regard. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the severity of this man’s problems,” she said, “but I am flattered.”

Thomas in his appeal argued the court improperly denied him the right to represent himself. Clearly, the man who also referred to himself as General Val Thomas, Commander-in-Chief of the North American Union Army of the Second American Civil War, would not have a fool for a client.

Especially considering that he was born May 19, 1963, which was apparently “one of the only two days in our lifetimes in which the Earth spun backwards, with the sun rising in the West and setting in the East.” This reverse spinning, argued Thomas, proves he is God.

But even the most supreme being of all needs standby counsel, which Thomas requested in his application and insisted could only be Clinton, O’Connor or Glass.

The New York appellate court denied Thomas’ appeal for several reasons, mainly because his trial would have been unmanageable. They also determined as “undisputed” that none of the three women were available to assist him.

“Nobody asked me,” said Glass, who guesses Thomas might have come across her name during the O.J. Simpson trial, which garnered nationwide gavel-to-gavel press coverage at about the same time Thomas was found guilty and sentenced to more than four years in state prison, where he is undoubtedly the warden.

And while Glass was far too nice to poke fun of Thomas, quite the opposite, she did find humor in the wording of the order – not to mention the irony.

“Here’s the thing,” she said. “To be mentioned in the same sentence as Justice O’Connor and Secretary of State Clinton, I’m honored. I read this and I had to laugh. Mr. Thomas is one of my people.”

At competency hearings, Glass has heard it all. “I have people telling me they’re God, Jesus, related to Steve Wynn, that Al Qaida is after them. This is an amazing coincidence.”

Citation: N.Y.S.2d – 2010 WL 1791004, 2010 Y.Y. Slip Op. 03805