It simply won’t seem like Halloween without Hammargren home tour

Attention, Gentle Readers: For the second time in 16 years, former Lt. Gov. Dr. Lonnie Hammargren doesn't want to attract your attention by inviting you to his Nevada Day Open House.

Got it? It's no trick, and certainly no treat.

Hammargren is recovering from knee replacement surgery and isn't up to greeting several thousand locals at his, shall we say politely, eccentric residence.

Surely the good doctor's wife, Sandy, is relieved.

Although Hammargren's friend Bob McCaffery assures skeptics the cancellation is because of that new knee joint, others suspect the neurosurgeon has frayed the nerves of his neighbors. Come to think of it, those neighbors probably would have liked to kick Hammargren in the knee for drawing hundreds of automobiles to their otherwise quiet streets.

STUPAK CENTER: Now that wild-and-crazy gambling man Bob Stupak has died, there's a move at City Hall to change the name of the Stupak Community Center in Meadows Village to the Gateway Center.

With Stupak no longer around to raise the blood pressure of City Council members, it's hard to imagine there will be much protest. Will there?

Now I'm hearing a park will be named in the Stupak family's honor.

If city officials were really on their game, they would commission a statue of Bob and his dad, Pittsburgh backroom casino king Chester Stupak, shooting dice together.

ZOO NEWS: The Las Vegas Zoo has officially announced plans to create new Barbary ape and desert tortoise habitats with help from the community and its mentors at the San Diego Zoo. With Joel Bergman's designs gracing the little animal park, the improvements will give the zoo a fresh new look.

San Diego Zoo Curator of Mammals Carmi Penny remains a fan of the little Las Vegas park, started in 1980 by retired homicide detective Pat Dingle.

"The zoo is small, but it can be powerful," Penny said. "We just need to get it there."

In addition to a flock of students from Katz Elementary, the announcement brought out plenty of political animals, including Mayor Oscar Goodman, Councilman Ricki Barlow, and County Commissioners Larry Brown, Tom Collins and Lawrence Weekly.

On the windy morning, I stood the perfect distance from the politicians: Close enough to recognize them, but far enough away that I couldn't hear a word they said.

CHIMP TV: Terry the chimp has television privileges at the Las Vegas Zoo, and why not? He's 28 years old, and not even the most devout slacker is comfortable sitting around eating leaves and preening all day. Besides, Terry likes to watch the television in the den of his 2,500-square-foot space.

"Raider football is his favorite," Las Vegas Zoo Director Pat Dingle says. "We let him watch everything but Fox News. It gets him riled up."

To keep his sanity, he dare not watch Hannity.

Clearly, Terry is highly evolved.

But, frankly, I question his football acumen. Perhaps Terry is responsible for diagramming the plays for the 2-5 Raiders this season.

POLICE PROCEDURE: Following last week's column on the senseless deaths of two Metro officers killed after speeding in their patrol cars, I received dozens of contacts from readers. A few were angry that I would have the audacity to suggest Sheriff Doug Gillespie needs to get tougher on his troops and that cops who die from excessive speed who aren't on a call aren't heroes.

But most of the messages were positive.

A few were compelling for other reasons: They told of areas of town where Metro officers commonly drive well over the speed limit while not apparently rolling on calls.

It's a hard issue to quantify. I don't know many people who want to put a speed gun on a patrol car and fewer still who are unwilling to give hard-working cops the benefit of the doubt. I fall into the latter category.

I'm left wondering whether we'll actually see substantive changes at Metro.

MILITARY SALUTE: Now here's something we can all salute. Wayne and Thane Ojala and their three children have been named the 2009 Air Force Family of the Year by the National Military Family Association. The Ojalas are stationed at Nellis Air Force Base.

ON THE BOULEVARD: So what became of the IRS investigation of former Las Vegas City Councilman Michael McDonald? It's grown awfully quiet.

Have an item for the Bard of the Boulevard? E-mail comments and contributions to Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith.