Obama offers radical ideas in speech to students

Just watched President Obama's speech to students today, and I am shocked and outraged by his brazen attempt to indoctrinate our impressionable young Americans with his Red agenda. Here are just a few of the detestable comments the president made:

• He urged students not to watch TV or play video games all day. That's just nuts. After all, with so many educational and entertaining things to watch on TV, I can't imagine anything more productive. And video games, well, they're instrumental in improving people's driving and shooting skills, so telling kids not to play them all the time is downright un-American.

• He told the kids they should show up at school, pay attention to their teachers, work hard and listen to their parents. So, what does Obama want to create, a generation of nerds? What a bad idea. We all know being cool and lazy are the American way.

• Obama said, "Every single one of you has something to offer." Well, maybe, maybe not. Maybe some people don't want to offer anything. Maybe they want to keep to themselves and not contribute anything to society, while lashing out irrationally when they hear something on talk radio. He apparently didn't think about that.

• He was really skating on thin ice when he mentioned "protecting the environment." That, clearly, is a plank of the socialist agenda. The environment was put there for humans to use and despoil, regardless of the effects on current and future generations. How dare he suggest "protecting the environment"?

• The president said there are no excuses for neglecting your homework. Well, I beg to differ. If my favorite shows are on TV, or if I am heavily involved in a video game, clearly I have a good excuse not to do my homework. Homework is boring, anyway, and it's not nearly as relevant to my life as Halo 3.

• This one really went too far. Obama suggested that students read books. He's playing with fire right there. Nobody reads books anymore, not when they can get all their information from friends who forward e-mails to them from partisan cranks. Don't you love those e-mails with lots of pictures of pets wearing funny clothes. Books! They're way too long, and some of them contain filthy words and thoughts. Get real.

• Obama concluded with a particularly nefarious question: "What's your contribution going to be?" What does he mean exactly? It sounded like he meant what kind of a campaign contribution would we be giving to him. Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen.

As you can see, Obama's speech to students was exactly what his critics thought it would be: unfit for the ears of impressionable young Americans, a vile attempt to turn our students into card-carrying commies. I fear for those kids who were forced to sit through his address. They would have been better off playing Rock Band or watching reality TV. Speaking of, gotta run: I'm missing my favorite program: "America's Biggest Idiots Smack Each Other Over the Head with Mallets for an Hour." Great stuff.