Shooting defenseless tree? That’s nothing for Collins

Tom Collins likes to call himself the "Cowboy Commissioner," but lately he's been all hat and no cattle.

Make that almost no cattle.

On Saturday while Collins was in Logandale, one of his rodeo bulls got loose on Decatur Boulevard. North Las Vegas police and some of his cowboy constituents rounded up the stray.

On the subject of strays, Collins is a member of the Clark County Commission, the elected posse in charge of guiding Southern Nevada through difficult times. But these days I'm wondering if the 62-year-old Collins hasn't wandered off the reality ranch and gotten trapped in a rodeo wrangler fantasy.

When I heard the commissioner was slapped with misdemeanor charges for disturbing the peace and unlawfully discharging a firearm within the North Las Vegas city limits on July 3, I have to admit I was surprised. But not by the allegations: That sounds just like our Tom.

I was startled to read that discharging a firearm in North Las Vegas is a crime. With so much gunfire echoing through the streets, who knew it was a municipal infraction?

Then it occurred to me that whoever charged Collins with disturbing the peace obviously hasn't watched our little elected buckaroo during a commission meeting, where he regularly harasses the peace and drives logical thinkers to distraction.

And I noted with arched brow that it was considered front-page news that a Clark County commissioner was facing a misdemeanor criminal charge.

How refreshing and quaint. How positively Mayberry, R.F.D. Students of local history know that traditionally Clark County commissioners bypass misdemeanors and go directly to federal public corruption felonies. Around here they don't just make headlines: They make U.S. Post Office walls.

From published reports, all our Tom may be guilty of this time is communing with Jack Daniel's and shooting a recalcitrant tree that resisted his chain saw's best efforts. While devout pantheists and Arbor Day Foundation officials look askance at such behavior, the story of the snockered sap and his slaughtered sapling has generated more snickers than calls for a hangin' from the highest tree.

Collins also is accused of shooting a wooden post. I don't want to be accused of rushing to judgment here. It's possible that post talked back to him.

But speaking of posts of suspect intelligence, Collins didn't awaken one day and decide to do in his Dutch elm or mow down the mulberry. Locals know this fits a long pattern of behavior.

Although he wasn't hauled off this time, our Tom is no stranger to the hoosegow. From winning fistfights to losing an arm-wrestling contest to his Old Grand-Dad, through the years the Cowboy Commissioner's name has occasionally ambled into the police blotter. (As a matter of candid disclosure, I've been there myself.) This is mostly back when the dedicated Democrat was a member of the Assembly, where it's often hard to tell who's drawing a sober breath.

Some find his personal style a refreshing relief from the usual phonies who hang around local politics. Others believe his boorish behavior is appalling and worthy of removal from office.

Frankly, I'm far more far troubled by Collins' wrangling on behalf of Las Vegas Paving at a time it was battling in court with rival Fisher Sand & Gravel over a $117 million road contract. U.S. District Judge Robert C. Jones suggested Collins and fellow Commissioner Steve Sisolak rode too hard for the union and Las Vegas Paving brand on the issue. Las Vegas Paving officials later parceled out checks totaling $36,000 to Collins' defense fund.

That's our Tom, always needing a defense fund.

But that's not roguishly charming. That's slippery.

This is not meant to diminish the tangle of misdemeanor trouble Collins has lassoed for himself, only to put it in the proper perspective.

If mere townsfolk, also known as voters and taxpayers, could be guaranteed he would stick to dueling with his dogwood, he might get our votes for a long time to come. But I'm starting to think he's taken this Wild West fantasy too far.

Because the odds aren't good he'll change his ways, I suggest our Tom buck up, cowboy up and never forget to lawyer up.

He's on the way to roping himself a tornado of trouble, and the trail gets steeper from here.

John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Email him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call 702-383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith. Follow him on Twitter @jlnevadasmith.