WEEK IN REVIEW: Reporters’ notebook

On Tuesday, the Nevada National Security Site sent out a rare and, frankly, terrifying media alert. All it said was: "Emergency responders are currently responding to an incident on the central portion of the Nevada National Security Site. More information will be released as it becomes available."

It turned out to be nothing - a misplaced training prop that looked like a bomb - but it got us wondering: What exactly qualifies as "an incident" at the super secret, super secure federal installation? Here are a few recently declassified ideas:

■ A routine audit shows an unacceptably high number of missing warheads.

■ An aircraft carrier at the secret naval base is taking on water.

■ Outside the test site mall, a nuclear scientist can't remember if he parked his car in Area 51 or 52.

■ Aliens riot, demand more bellies from which to explode.

■ Prankster replaces feed from security cameras with Will Smith movie "Independence Day."

■ Security patrol comes across an unsuspicious package.

Thursday's story about the real "incident" at the test site drew a funny reader comment from someone going by the name Long Time Nevadan: "(Quoting from the story) 'It has double fences and concertina wire that flanks two gun towers where guards armed with machine guns can fire at intruders through ports that peer out from yard-thick walls.' Sounds like many homes in Pahrump and Sandy Valley."

KEITH ROGERS

Speaking of Pahrump, a woman there called in with a suggestion for federal officials overwhelmed by unwanted pet tortoises at the Desert Tortoise Conservation Center in Las Vegas.

Tortoises make great boot leather and delicious soup, she said. "They could start a restaurant there."

HENRY BREAN

TWEET OF THE WEEK: @NVSecSenate (Secretary of the Nevada Senate David Byerman) #49ers jerseys, polos deemed compliant with #nvleg Senate dress code for employees this Friday. #Ravens fans subject to disciplinary action.