Navel gazing

If UNLV's Spring 2008 Faculty Climate Survey is any indication, the state's largest public university is so saturated in pomposity and political correctness that the Maryland Parkway campus might very well float away.

The survey was developed by hotel management professor Skip Swerdlow, the chairman of UNLV's Promotion and Tenure Committee, the ad hoc Academic Culture Committee, the Committee for an Inclusive and Just University (whatever that means) and the Status of Women Committee (status check: yep, we're still women). "I want to know your thoughts and feelings regarding the fundamental aspects of your professional life and how they impact your productivity and general quality of life," Mr. Swerdlow wrote in a March memo that accompanied the survey.

An outsider might think that the survey would examine such "fundamental" issues as the quality of students enrolled, their level of readiness for a university environment and whether the university's curriculum adequately prepares graduates for the demands of the current job market. Instead, tenured, associate and adjunct faculty are asked to complete a 12-page exercise in navel-gazing and nepotism.

Among dozens of questions, the survey, obtained by the Review-Journal, asks:

"What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, Heterosexual, or Other?" Beyond the first four responses, we weren't aware of any "other" options, outside of bestiality. But then again, ruling out all imaginable possibilities wouldn't be "inclusive," would it?

Under the heading of "Work Environment and Relationships," the survey asks whether "my colleagues expect me to represent 'the point of view' of my gender" and " 'the point of view' of my race/ethnicity," as though gender and race/ethnicity are married to specific perspectives. It seeks levels of agreement with the statements "I feel I don't have a lot in common with my department colleagues" and "I feel I'm often left out from what my department colleagues are doing." Is this a degree-conferring institution or group therapy?

Under the heading of "Overall Work Environment," the survey pairs qualities viewed as favorable against qualities deemed unfavorable, and asks participants to relate the nature of their job climate. Listed alongside terms such as "hostile," "racist," "sexist" and "unjust" is the word "competitive." Heaven forbid any professors distinguish themselves as better than any of their peers. That might hurt someone's feelings!

Finally, at the end of the survey, participants are asked about using their positions to juice their spouses or life partners into jobs at UNLV. "Are you satisfied with UNLV's help in locating appropriate opportunities for your spouse/partner?" Taxpayers will be thrilled to know they're somehow obligated to provide both members of faculty households with lifetime pensions and health care.

UNLV's mediocre reputation won't improve until it further raises its admission standards, attracts higher-caliber students and begins producing graduates with the baseline knowledge and critical thinking skills to succeed in an evolving economy.

But to the creators of this survey, none of that matters as long as UNLV's professors and lecturers feel good about themselves.