Hanson signing no joke

The son of one of the notorious Hanson brother characters in the movie "Slap Shot" has joined the Toronto Maple Leafs organization.

Christian Hanson -- whose father, former NHL player Dave Hanson, starred as one of the three Hanson brothers in "Slap Shot" -- signed a two-year, entry-level deal with the team Tuesday. He recently completed his college career at Notre Dame and was an undrafted free agent.

Hanson -- a 6-foot-4-inch center who weighs 228 pounds -- had 16 goals and 15 assists in 37 games for the Fighting Irish this season. The native of Venetia, Pa., spent four years at the school.

The younger Hanson does not wear horn-rimmed glasses held together with athletic tape.

• HOLD THE CALIPARI -- The University of Kentucky's hiring of men's basketball coach John Calipari drew protest from a group of vegetarians in the Bluegrass State.

"We believe it sends the wrong message to our students," a group spokesperson said. "PETA is trying to protect our sea creatures by getting people to refer to them as 'sea kittens,' and hiring a person with that name does not help our cause. Especially if he faces tough questions and the headlines read 'Calimari is grilled.' "

When it was pointed out the coach's name is Calipari, not Calimari, the protest ended.

• DANCE BANNED -- Tiger Woods' top sponsors and NBC have banned the world's No. 1 golfer from performing any type of celebratory dance like the one he did after Sunday's victory-clinching birdie putt on the 18th hole at the Arnold Palmer Invitational in Orlando, Fla.

Once the putt dropped, Woods raised his right knee, pumped his fist and thrust all of his weight onto his left leg. It was Woods' first victory since missing eight months of play after having surgery on his left knee.

NBC producers, who watched TV ratings plummet during Woods' injury layoff, and sponsors such as Nike have approved the fist pump but forbid any celebration that might jeopardize his surgically repaired knee.

• R-WORD -- A national campaign is growing to retard the misuse of the word "retard."

At schools throughout the country, volunteers are recruiting people to support the "spread the word to end the word" campaign and to sign a petition at R-word.org promising to stop using "retard" in everyday speech.

The Special Olympics has been campaigning aggressively against the "r-word" since August, when the movie "Tropic Thunder" made headlines for its liberal comedic use of the word.

The group, which promotes sports participation for mentally and physically challenged people, also took umbrage to a comment made recently by President Obama. On an appearance on NBC's "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," Obama said his poor bowling skills were "like the Special Olympics or something."

• APRIL FOOL -- Good morning. Hope you enjoyed a special April Fool's Day edition of Leftovers. The items about Calipari and the ban on Woods dancing are not true.

Believe it or not, the one about the hockey-playing son of a Hanson brother is true.

COMPILED BY JEFF WOLF LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL