Losses tell only half the story

Few things in life are certain, but here is one: Play hockey long enough, and for enough bad teams, and you are going to lose a lot of games.

Eventually they pile up, and when Toronto Maple Leafs goaltender Curtis Joseph lost to the Buffalo Sabres 3-1 on Wednesday, he tied Gump Worsley for most losses in NHL history: 454.

Maple Leafs teammate Brad May, sounding like the losing is starting to have a numbing effect all around, called Joseph's tying the record "pretty neat."

"It's not neat that he's got the most losses," May told The Associated Press, "but think about how many games he's played.

"You know what? Cecil Fielder hit the most home runs one year, if I'm not mistaken, and he had the most strikeouts, too. Wayne Gretzky had the most giveaways one year, and he had the most assists. The bottom line is nothing ventured, nothing gained. Curtis has been an incredible goaltender."

Joseph did his best to shrug off No. 454. "There's too many good things in my life for me to even think about losses," he said.

• TOO MUCH INFORMATION -- From syndicated columnist Norman Chad: "This is the so-called Information Age, characterized by too much information. Frankly, I don't want all-access. It was better when we knew less about our entertainers and athletes; nothing detracted from their on-screen or on-field image.

"Before my time, Clark Gable was a big movie star and Rocky Marciano was a boxing icon, and I guarantee you my father couldn't tell you two things about their personal lives. These days, I walk into a Brad Pitt film, and I'm thinking about the Vietnamese boy he and Angelina adopted; I tune into a Yankees game, and I'm wondering if A-Rod was with Madonna the night before."

• NO BLIND LUCK -- He once fixed a flaw in the swing of Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn.

He attracts 50 hitters a week, from Little Leaguers to pros, to his home in Omaha, Neb., for $90-an-hour batting instructions.

And he's been legally blind for 45 years. Macular degeneration destroyed Mark Wetzel's center of vision, but what he sees out of the corners of his eyes is uncanny.

"I can tell where the knob of the bat is, and I know what your elbow is doing and where your head is going to go next," Wetzel, 59, told The Associated Press. "I see that outline, and I connect all the dots."

Why would a virtually blind man choose to teach hitting? "Do you think I should teach catching?" Wetzel asked. "I'm only good for two or three knocks to the head a day."

• NEED FOR SPEED -- Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune, on the sight of speed-challenged Jim Thome, Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko loading the bases for the White Sox on Opening Night: "They looked like a convoy of covered wagons waiting for the stoplight to turn green."

• BUT CAN THEY CATCH -- The Hollywood Wax Museum announced it will auction off more than 200 wax figures, including athletes and movie stars dating to the 1970s.

Writes the Seattle Times' Dwight Perry: "That's good news for the Dodgers, who could use a late-inning replacement for Manny Ramirez in left field."

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