Many shades of gray color controversy over Hernandez’s mustache

Never mind about Barry Bonds when it comes to tainted sports records. "Rants & Raves" points out the tinted title claimed by Keith Hernandez, who recently was voted Top Sports Mustache of All Time:

Yep, that cheatin', color-enhancin' former first baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals and New York Mets -- a commercial spokesman of Just For Men haircolor products, including "getting the gray out" of mustaches -- drew 32 percent of nearly 20,000 votes cast in an online contest conducted by The American Mustache Institute, based in St. Louis. Hernandez easily outdistanced the guy who should have won, Hall of Fame relief pitcher Rollie Fingers of Las Vegas, who received only 24 percent of votes despite his signature handlebar adornment.

So what about Hernandez's use of "the cream"?

"There was a lot of discussion about Hernandez not being (allowed) on the ballot," Alan Perlut, AMI executive director, said in a news release. "The mustache community is split on his involvement ... but we respect our voters' opinions and are officially neutral on this touchy subject."

Actually, the announcement of Hernandez's honor came as part of a wonderful cause: AMI's " 'Stache Bash 2007," a charity event that benefits Challenger Baseball, a league for children with disabilities.

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig was not in attendance Saturday night for Hernandez's announcement. Instead, he watched a real cheater in San Diego. ...

• Ranking behind Hernandez and Fingers in 'stache balloting were fellow retired baseball player Al Hrabosky (12 percent), former NHL player Lanny McDonald (10 percent), late NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt (7 percent) and pro wrestler Hulk Hogan (6 percent) -- who likely can relate more to Bonds than he can to Hernandez.

Former pro wrestler Chyna had 5 percent. OK, just kidding. ...

• Hank Aaron has been defiantly silent over recent months about Bonds and his pursuit of "The Hammer's" all-time home run record of 755.

Our favorite parting shot, into the upper deck when he spoke it in June: "I don't even know how to spell his name," Aaron said of Bonds. ...

• Referencing back to Selig, isn't his always-dour facial expression a cry for more fiber in his diet? ...

• Generally, we relegate youth sports below the varsity high school level to our weekly Community Sports page. There's just too much of it going on to give separate write-ups to everything.

But, hey, how about the Green Valley Little League team, which improved to 3-0 in the West regionals in San Bernardino, Calif., on Monday night with a 1-0 victory over Waipio, Hawaii?

Green Valley, representing Nevada at the regional for the eighth time since 1983, is the only 3-0 team in pool play, already has assured itself of a semifinal game Thursday night and has outscored its opponents, incredibly, 24-0. ...

Dare we think it, let alone say it?: Williamsport, here they come! ...

• Talk about sports irony:

Because of his alleged link to a dogfighting ring, Michael Vick of the Atlanta Falcons won't be the quarterback for Thursday night's preseason opener against the New York Jets. Instead, the team will have a dog in Joey Harrington at the position. ...

• Or this sports irony:

Las Vegas native Kyle Busch will take over J.J. Yeley's No. 18 car for Joe Gibbs Racing in NASCAR's Sprint Cup Series in 2008. Busch's new stablemate? Heated/hated archnemesis Tony Stewart. ...

• So suspended NFL-er Adam "Pacman" Jones of the Tennessee Titans has taken up professional wrestling?

Really, is this a good thing for his reputation? ...

• First you have an NBA referee who has admitted to betting on games he officiated. Then you have talk of a tennis player possibly pulling up lame and/or tanking matches in which he was heavily favored.

C'mon, are bowlers -- beer and cigarettes aside -- the only sports role models left? ...

• Intentional pass, baseball definition: When an umpires' union declines to "voluntarily" submit to background checks in order to use the request as a bargaining chip against Major League Baseball to get a sweeter deal in contract negotiations.

Ball four! Take your base!

Joe Hawk is the Review-Journal's sports editor. His "Rants & Raves" column is published Tuesday. He can be reached at 387-2912 or jhawk@reviewjournal.com.