Promotion/relegation model would stir college football intrigue
Remember that old movie "The Fly"? Not the black-and-white version from 1958, starring David Hedison and a giant toggle switch and cheesy special effects. The one from 1986, where Jeff Goldblum goes into the laboratory because he thinks Geena Davis is getting back together with another scientist, and Goldblum teleports himself, unaware that a fly is in the chamber with him.
This is what I want to happen when the college presidents form a 64-team super league of football behemoths and Indiana, which is bound to happen sooner than later. Only instead of there being a fly in Alabama's and Oklahoma's and Michigan's ointment, there would be something else in the chamber that would make a 64-team super league more intriguing/less frightening after the morphing process.
Instead of a fly, perhaps one of those European professional soccer leagues could be in the chamber with the college presidents.
The result would then be a 64-team super league with promotion and relegation - and a lot of redshirt freshmen taking dives and faking injuries. But at least none of that creepy fly goop would get on Alabama's uniforms.
The presidents, of course, would legislate out of the game the dives and fake injuries, because unlike the Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl, dives and fake injuries are detrimental to college football. But not as detrimental as, say, recruiting violations, or haven't you checked Southern Cal's position in the polls?
But they would allow promotion and relegation. Because except for a pint of Guinness served slightly chilled at cellar temperature at a pub, relegation and promotion is the most awesome thing about European soccer.
Under such a system, top teams from a lesser division are elevated - i.e., "promoted" - into a superior league. They trade places with bottom teams from the superior league who get bounced, or "relegated," to a lesser division.
With promotion and relegation, Indiana would not remain in the Big Ten by going 2-10. It would have to win four or five games, or risk being replaced by Southern Mississippi or Miami of Ohio or one of those other Mid-American Conference teams that will form the nucleus of a second division.
As the politicians like to say, no more entitlements. Plus, promotion and relegation adds drama to the end of the season at both ends of the table - er, standings.
To put it in baseball terms, if the Cubs and the Astros were to play a three-game series on the last weekend, it would be totally meaningless. But if the loser were to be relegated to the Pacific Coast League, to be replaced in the National League Central by the Omaha Storm Chasers, it would be a totally huge series. And then perhaps guys wearing No. 72 just up from Double-A Corpus Christi wouldn't be playing third base and batting cleanup.
On Friday night, as Boise State was losing at Michigan State in the first game of the season, the ESPN announcers said the Broncos' inability to score an offensive touchdown effectively ended the chance of anyone being a BCS buster this season.
It was still August. And yet every midmajor team already has been eliminated from BCS contention - and major payday contention - at least according to the ESPN announcers.
Well, I suppose there's always the pie-eating contest at the Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl.
If there were a 64-team super league, and promotion and relegation, there still would be access to the national championship and major paydays to Boise State and even smaller schools that aren't joining the Big East. This is more than what they have now. Losing a game in August wouldn't render the rest of the season as irrelevant as a three-team parlay including Penn State.
And if the midmajors had access to the super league and super payouts, there would be no reason to summon the antitrust lawyers. The threat of legal recourse is why I believe the college presidents would tell Indiana it best go 4-8, or good luck against Ball State and Central Michigan next season.
Unless the old Southwest Conference can be put back together in the manner of the Blues Brothers, I'm actually starting to warm to this idea of a 64-team super league.
Teams could be grouped geographically, thereby restoring old rivalries and allowing fans to drive to games. There could be a playoff, consisting of eight or 16 teams. There could still be a Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl for non-playoff teams. And, best of all, there could be access to the super league - and its huge, program-sustaining paydays - for the UNLVs of the college football world, once the UNLVs learn to block and tackle a little better.
I'll bet even Jeff Goldblum would go for it, because it has been awhile since I have seen him in anything.
Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352. Follow him on Twitter: @ronkantowski.