ON THE BEAT: Reporter tries his luck at firing a machine gun

I hadn’t fired a gun in something like 20 years, but I figured for the story I was writing on machine gun ranges, I should at least try it.

I chose the range closest to the office, Discount Firearms, at 3084 S. Highland Drive. I picked a Thompson submachine gun (a Tommy gun), partially because I thought it would look good in the photos and partially for the whole retro thing. If it was good enough for the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, I figured it was good enough for me.

As it turned out, they put the straight magazine on rather than the drum, so it looked much more like a WWII movie than a gangster flick.

With my safety goggles and ear protection on, we went out into the hermetically sealed shooting range, and I listened as best as I could to the muffled instructions.

I was told to fire single shots at first and was gleefully surprised to discover I could hit the target — albeit a target that was only 60 feet away. I was also happy to discover that it didn’t hurt. I was braced for a kick that would drive my shoulder bones through my back, but it wasn’t bad at all.

Having proven I wasn’t going to shoot myself or the targets in the other lanes, my instructor had me flip the switch to full auto, but still recommended I only shoot three round bursts. This turned out to be a wise decision.

My first shot was dead center on the target, my second five inches above that and my third eight inches above that. I figure that by the sixth shot, I’d have been spraying bullets across the ceiling, and I’d already signed a form saying I’d pay $25 for each hole I put in the ceiling.

All in all it was fun, exciting and not exactly my cup of tea. I completely understand why people want to do it and why these places are busy all the time, but for around a buck a bullet, the fun per minute ratio didn’t appeal to me. I might do it again sometime, but it’s the sort of thing I’d save for special occasions, like birthdays, bar mitzvahs or St. Valentine’s day.

—F. Andrew Taylor

Photos by Dale Dombrowski/View. From top right: Southeast View reporter F. Andrew Taylor chose a Thompson submachine gun, commonly known as a Tommy gun, to shoot at Discount Firearms, at 3084 S. Highland Drive. Taylor shoots and, miraculously, hits the target. After he's done, Taylor admires his handiwork.