Tommy Lee Looks At Me, Avoids Journalism, Looks For Girls

From the Department of I Can't Really Blame Him Because I'd Do The Same Thing If I Were Tommy Lee, But Still:

I went to Planet Hollywood Friday night to track down Wendy's hamburger-eater David (I'm The Jerry Lewis of Germany) Hasselhoff, but public relations mishaps mishappened, and so "The Hoff" proved elusive, since he was in the middle of a 12-hour webcast of no-doubt brilliant entertainment that I totally missed, sorry Dave!

I'm sure he's nice, yada yada, but PR disasters are PR disasters.

Anywho, en route to hassle the Hoff, I ran into a phalanx of security guards encircling Tommy Lee, the man who used to drum for some band and then appeared in some adult tape with his wife, whose name I believe is "Pam Anderson." I tried to ask Tattooed One a single question about a story I'm working on that concerns Tattooed One, but his security guy stopped me. I was standing maybe two feet from Tattooed One, and he looked at me, so I know he heard me and avoided me.

Then his whole pack of dudes sat around and waited for a female producer-type to approach tall, thin, young things, and she the producer asked them if they would go with Tommy up to his hotel suite because, you know, he's filming a TV show and it's all very exciting! Lucky girls. They seemed very excited! And tall! And thin! I'm sure they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into!

Tommy: I've interviewed you several times. You are always cool to chat with. Why were you being a crick? I was working on a column that partly concerns YOU, that PR people connected with you have been trying to get me to cover. It would have taken 90 SECONDS when you were otherwise just sitting still.