Polls, stalking come to a close

Sensitive souls have come to hate this time of year. Parting being such sweet sorrow and all.

Now that Campaign 2014 is in the books, the victors have brushed confetti from their lapels and the vanquished have wrapped up the final stanza of the “Also-ran Blues.” The rest of us are left to wonder what we did wrong to be so abruptly abandoned by our Internet pen pals.

Just when we thought we were becoming real political players, the voices sharing their darkest fears and whispering insider skinny have gone silent. The seemingly endless hustle by representatives from both parties for donations has ceased.

For months we’ve been reminded that the fate of the Republic is in our hands. Only our donations — as little as $5! — can save America from the abyss. For just a few dollars we can help defeat the forces of evil and send virtuous candidates to Congress.

The emails have been relentless, increasingly alarmist and ridiculously chummy. Outside of the surreal world of retail politics there’s a word for this kind of behavior: cyber stalking.

Imagine the odds: The fate of the nation rests on me reaching into my pocket, withdrawing a moth-eaten $5 bill from my leatherette wallet and sending it to the never-ending “Save the Senator” fund. Of course, there’s no need to mess with cash when any major credit card will do.

In this election cycle I’ve heard not only from Barack and Michelle, but also Jeb and Reince. Chances are you know them, too.

We’re on a first-name basis with real political players. First names, as in, “I’ll be late for supper. I’m shooting hoops with Barack.” Or, “Reince. What kind of first name is Reince?” Salutations get downright casual during the cyber campaign.

Just this week I received a personal email from Joe. You know, Vice President Joe Biden.

After somehow remembering my first name he said, “No matter what happens on Tuesday, I’m proud of you. You’ve helped to keep us in this campaign, and I can’t thank you enough.”

But, it turns out he did need a little more help, after all, to get out the vote and, no doubt, kick in another $5. At least he signed it, “Joe.”

In recent weeks we’ve learned about important deadlines, urgent deadlines, critical deadlines and even something called, “the most critical deadline yet.”

But that’s not half as scary as my friend Harry, who is busy “Fighting the Kochtopus,” which by that he means billionaires Charles and David Koch. And, sure enough, it turns out that as little as $5 can help fight the good fight.

Some candidates got their families into the act. Underdog congressional candidate Erin Bilbray, for instance, enlisted just about everyone she knows to pitch for pennies. Her mother, Mikey, and father, former Congressman Jim Bilbray, lent their names to fundraising missives. I did not hear from the Bilbray family dog, but surely that was an oversight.

Obviously, asking the little guys to kick in a few bucks gives everyone the feeling they’re helping to make a difference. But it’s mostly just that — a feeling.

Here’s a reality check that puts all those email come-ons in a slightly different perspective. In approximately 25 percent of U.S. Senate races nationally, candidates are raising and spending less than outside PACs and 501(c) organizations, according to the nonpartisan and and nonprofit Center for Responsive Politics. In Colorado, for instance, outside groups dumped about $54 million in an effort to sway the vote in the hotly contested Senate race. In North Carolina, the figure is a staggering $81 million.

Then there are the political bets being made through so-called “dark money” donor organizations, which don’t reveal the source of their cash. A record $169.2 million has been heaped on the process this season, according to the center. Most of that funneled money has flowed through conservative political organizations.

But when it comes to hustling contributions, both Republicans and Democrats are the Party of Lincoln, Jackson, U.S. Grant and Benjamin Franklin, too.

John L. Smith’s column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Email him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call 702-383-0295. Follow him on Twitter @jlnevadasmith.