Rivers sees ‘the lowering of America’
Joan Rivers is in town to perform tonight and Saturday at The Venetian. So it's time for Joan (who is once again hosting E!'s "Fashion Police") to give me a Speed Round on the Stars.
"Jersey Shore": "These are all the people that if you saw them in a restaurant, you'd say, 'Let's not go back.'
"I know I'm supposed to say, 'Aren't they fun?' But," Joan says, "they're the lowering of America."
Joan says she can't wait for Snooki and The Situation to lose their fame, so she can hire them as her help.
"She can be my maid, and he can be my mechanic."
Justin Bieber: "I couldn't care less about him because I'm over 13. I think the minute a little girl gets her period, she forgets about Justin Bieber."
Lady Gaga: "The meat dress was wonderful. All that prosciutto made me so hungry, I was looking for melon.
"Her insanity works because it's backed up by talent."
Joan thinks it takes Gaga's stylists at least three hours each day to make Gaga look the way she does. I ask Joan whether Gaga's stylists are all gay men.
"I hope so," Joan says. "It looks like gay men with a sense of humor. You can't top that."
FAMOUS PEOPLE, FAMOUS PLACES
Speaking of "Jersey Shore," co-star Jwoww walks a red carpet after midnight tonight at club Jet. Inspired by Jwoww, I'm gonna change my name to Elfcooool and see where that gets me. ... Maxim cover girl Dania Ramirez (Alex on "Entourage") shows up at 2 p.m. Saturday at MGM's Wet Republic day club. ... And Big Boi performs at 9 p.m. today at the Palms pool.
SAY WHAT?
"I created you! ... If you don't come on this show, I'm going to show a clip every week. ... It's like a hostage crisis." -- "Real Time" host Bill Maher, who is rerunning embarrassing old interview clips with politician (and one-time witchcraft-dabbler) Christine O'Donnell. Maher performs Saturday-Sunday at The Orleans.
Doug Elfman's column appears Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail him at delfman@reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.
