GOOFY GIFTS GALORE

Leo Santillana sold his pancreas for $100 on Tuesday morning.

He clearly got the better end of the deal.

The weathered pancreas, which Santillana tugged out of a jacket pocket, was greenish in hue, stuffed with beans, and frankly looked more like a gall bladder.

"I thought it was a stomach at first," he said of the faux organ he had received as a bizarre gift from his 11-year-old niece.

Santillana had waited since 1:30 a.m. to exchange his pancreas for a $100 MasterCard gift card at Washington Mutual bank's "Goofiest, Most Unusual, or Otherwise Unwanted Holiday Gifts" promotion. The first 100 people who showed up at the bank's Rainbow Boulevard-Sahara Avenue branch, bad gifts in tow, received the cards that can be used like debit cards.

About 75 people were already lined up with their least favorite gifts by the event's 7 a.m. start time.

Near the front of the pack was Carla Washington, who was clutching a plastic-wrapped wad of red synthetic hair adorned with tiny green Christmas trees she had received as a recent gift from a co-worker.

"She said she thought I should spruce myself up," Washington said, laughing. "It's bad enough that it's red, but it also has trees. I hope it was free."

Washington arrived at the bank at about 3:30 a.m. expecting to wait in a long line.

Instead, "it was just me and the guy with the pancreas."

The guy with a well-worn, two-foot-high Incredible Hulk doll showed up later, as did the little girl with the Gonzo Tin Man, the guy with the downright ugly hand-made snowman, and the 21-year-old woman with a bare-chested Ken doll gifted by her mother.

"She said I needed a boyfriend," said Gladys Torres.

Other bad gifts included a battery-operated "Hip-Hop Santa" who performs a rap version of "Jingle Bells," a "World Champion Beer Drinker" trophy, the proverbial holiday fruitcake and a roll of toilet paper, each square of which contains the images of the main characters from the TV sitcom "King of Queens."

Adam Hughes waited with several of his buddies to exchange a gift from his grandmother -- an actually pretty cool motorcycle video game shaped like handlebars.

"I asked for a motorcycle," the 23-year-old Hughes said. "I got handlebars. This is neat, but it's no motorcycle."

Joseph Aguirre handed over a single Christmas tree bulb in its own tiny box, a "Secret Santa" gift from a co-worker.

"Who the hell got this for me?" he said. "Maybe I'll use the $100 to hire a detective to find out who gave me this."

But the clear winner of the contest was Sherry Coch, who was lugging a dusty bedpan sloppily decorated to look like a holiday wreath.

She received it four years ago as a "white elephant" gift from a relative.

"It has real sentimental value," she joked, "but I think I can deal" with giving it away.

Washington Mutual spokesman Gary Kishner, who has watched the bad gift promotion in eight cities so far this year, said Coch's bedpan might be the crappiest gift he's ever seen.

"Vegas has taken the cake," he said. "You guys have won the prize."

While most of the bad gifts will be donated to Goodwill or other charities, Kishner plans to hold on to that bedpan.

"It will go to my trophy case in my office," he said. "It will go on my wall of shame."

Most of those who received the $100 gift cards said they would spend the money on Christmas gifts.

But Coch said she would instead buy a gift for herself.

"Oh, this is all for me," she said after ditching the bedpan. "I'm going to get something I want. I'm not sharing."

Contact reporter Lynnette Curtis at lcurtis@reviewjournal.com or (702) 383-0285.