Passover Seder brings new friends together

Avital and Robert Yanover plan to have dinner this evening at the home of a family they've never met.

But it's not solely a social call. For the Yanovers, the arranged dinner date is the solution to a puzzle faced by every observant Jew who, for whatever reason, can't celebrate Passover with family or friends: What to do about the Passover Seder?

Passover, the weeklong holiday that celebrates the Jewish people's liberation from slavery, begins at sundown today. During the Passover Seder, or meal, symbolic foods -- most notably, matzo, or unleavened bread -- are eaten and the story of the Jewish people's escape from Egypt is retold.

The Seder is the product of a biblical command to retell the Passover story so that "our children will know that God redeemed us from slavery, and all that was involved in the process," notes Rabbi Sanford Akselrad of Congregation Ner Tamid. "So a Seder, ideally, would be done in a family setting with children there."

Retelling the story at the Seder is so important that "in Jewish law, if a person was by themselves, they would still have an obligation to tell that story out loud, to ask the famous four questions and to talk about it out loud," notes Rabbi Yitzchak Wyne of Young Israel-Aish of Las Vegas.

While "it's not an absolute Jewish legal necessity that a person is with other people, it is extremely important. And a large chunk of Jewish consciousness is that a person should always spend Passover with other people," Wyne adds.

But that's difficult if someone is single, has just moved to a new town, has become an empty-nester or is away from friends and family at Passover. Perhaps more difficult: Because of its association with friends, family and tradition, the prospect of a solo Seder can be emotionally wrenching.

Even absent its religious significance, the Passover Seder can be "almost the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner," notes Monique Arar, director of Jewish student life for University of Nevada, Las Vegas Hillel.

At UNLV, students' prospects of a solitary Seder are diminished this year because Passover falls during spring break. For students who don't spend break at home with their families, Chabad of Southern Nevada and Hillel will join forces to host UNLV students at a Passover Seder.

Such community Seders are a popular Passover option for Southern Nevadans.

"Most synagogues have a Seder," Akselrad says. Empty- nesters often attend, he notes, as do people who choose to forgo the work involved in making a family Seder and those who simply enjoy celebrating Passover with other members of the community.

Another option are programs that match people with others who are willing to host them in their homes. Joanne Friedland, advertising sales director for the Jewish Reporter of Las Vegas, has, in the past, invited students into her home for the Passover Seder.

It's particularly fitting, she notes, because, during Passover, "you're meant to welcome people. In fact, you set an extra place (at the Seder) for Elijah the prophet."

Nobody, Friedland says, "should be without a home to go to at Passover Seder."

That's the tack the Yanovers are taking this year. They usually celebrate Passover with their children and, perhaps, a few friends. This year, their children -- now 24 and 27 -- are in California. And while, in the past, they've visited out-of-town friends for Passover, that's not an option this year because the first night of the holiday falls midweek.

So, the Yanovers chose to be matched with another couple through Young Israel-Aish. They look forward to the change.

Every family follows its own Passover customs and has its own Haggadah, the text read at the Seder that retells the story of the Jewish people's flight from Egypt. By spending the Seder with others, "you get the different point of view and different stories," Avital Yanover says, as well as learning minor variations on the Seder procedure itself.

Another segment of the Passover Seder orphan universe consists of tourists. Rabbi Shea Harlig of Chabad of Southern Nevada says he often receives inquiries about local Seders from visiting out-of-towners who are in Las Vegas during Passover for business or on vacation.

At Chabad last year, he recalls, "after we all sat down -- and (the Seder) takes about three hours; we were all ready to go -- all of a sudden, out of nowhere, 10 people show up."

All, he adds, were accommodated.

Conversely, Harlig has made Seder arrangements for Southern Nevadans visiting foreign locales during Passover. Recently, for example, he made arrangements with Chabad in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, for a local student who is there this week.

Even for less observant Jews, the desire to celebrate the Passover Seder in some way can be strong.

"No matter how far a person drifts away from Jewish tradition, Passover Seder is one of the last things a person holds onto," Wyne says.

"Even though many people do not do a Passover Seder like I do, which takes hours and hours, even Jews who are very far away from Jewish tradition will have Passover dinner with certain (foods) and eat matzo and say the four questions and (drink) the four cups of wine and that kind of stuff."

Contact reporter John Przybys at jprzybys@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0280.