Phoenix, Affleck: Just ‘gremlins’?

Once again, we ask: Is Joaquin Phoenix really quitting acting for rap music? Or is this a hoax he's pulling with friend Casey Affleck, who is filming a documentary on the whole rap foray?

"I really think with Casey filming everything, I would bet it would be a huge ha-ha," says longtime Hollywood agent (now manager) Chris Snyder, who represented Phoenix in earlier days.

"They have their own sense of humor," he told me Monday while in Las Vegas. "They're like two little gremlins."

Gremlins?

"You know, gremlins -- who are hiding, and you don't know what they're going to do."

Phoenix debuted his rap at Lavo at the Palazzo in January. I was there. Phoenix, Affleck and their film producer swore to me the rap thing is real, not a hoax.

But Snyder saw Phoenix rap on TV and was reminded of hoax king Andy Kaufman.

Snyder has written about his travels with Phoenix and Kirsten Dunst, plus his own bizarre L.A. life, in a well-reviewed new book, "Hunting with Barracudas: My Life in Hollywood with the Legendary Iris Burton."

Snyder's book scoops out inside strangeness from Hollywood. His boss threw plates and phones at walls. And starry-eyed newcomers in Hollywood still get taken, financially and sexually.

"The 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' thing is in existence -- and it's worse than that," he says.

He's already thinking about his next book, about crazy stage moms, tentatively titled, "Have I Got a Kid For You."

One time, he tells me, a family of kid actors on location was upset that their hotel rooms lacked an adjoining door. So the parents bought a Kmart chain saw and cut a door-hole in the wall. He won't tell me who this family is.

Read my blog on: how Phoenix lost the lead in "Boogie Nights"; Snyder's take on "Jon & Kate Plus 8"; and three stars Snyder deems to be nice, gracious and incredible.

HOLLY'S EYEFUL TOWER

Holly Madison was chatting with me and some other writers at club Pure on Saturday night when she raised her arms, causing her tight snap-button blouse to open with a loud "POP!"

Her magical breasts sprung forth like rainbows of delight suddenly breaking free and shining glorious, mystical rays into our hungry eyes. It was like eating a Starburst.

"Oh no!" she said, laughed and buttoned up.

I exclaimed what we were all thinking: "Wow, that was cool!"

She was lucky we couldn't see her ninnies there at the Vegas Magazine anniversary party at Caesars.

Madison rehearses next week to fill Kelly Monaco's naked position in Planet Hollywood's "Peepshow." She's living in a suite there (about 1,000 square feet, no balcony or hot tub, but a view of the Bellagio fountains and the Eiffel Tower).

And how's this for a purr from the Playboy poser?:

"The bed's so comfortable. I sleep in so late now," Madison said. "You don't want to get out of bed!"

Alrighty then.

She's not nervous about going naked for "Peepshow."

"I just don't want any cellulite hanging out. That's my main concern. Everybody has it. Guys don't. That's not fair. Because if guys had it, they wouldn't even care."

GRAHAM COVETS CIRCUS ACTS

When Heather Graham was in town, shooting Friday's comedy release "The Hangover," she saw Cirque du Soleil's sexy naked "Zumanity" and other shows. What did she think?

"I want to be in a Cirque du Soleil show and doing the acrobats," she said at the magazine party.

I think she means she wants to be "doing the acrobatics." "Doing the acrobats" is a whole other thing.

"I want to be ... the girl in, like, 'Love,' where she flies around the sky.

"I'm so impressed by that. I want to be in a circus. Like, I was watching these people that were just so amazingly athletic and incredible. It makes me want to work out more."

E-mail delfman@reviewjournal.com or comment at reviewjournal.com/elfman.