September 7, 2010 - 11:00 pm
When Forbes recently named Las Vegas America’s most stressful city, I humbly suggested we make the best of it. You know, exploiting it.
With high unemployment, plummeting real estate values, a crush of personal and business bankruptcies — not to mention all those Reid-Angle commercials — there was no doubting the magazine’s decision. So make the most of it.
To that end, I implored gentle readers to contribute snappy one-liners to assist in the sloganeering.
The response has been, well, overwhelming and a little weird.
You people really are stressed out.
Obviously, you also have a lot of time on your hands. What follows is a sample of the contributions.
Don Merz writes, “Vegas. Lose your stress, keep your shirt” and “Bring your stress to Las Vegas. What happens here stays here.”
Timothy Gocsik: “Vegas, baby! The stress is the best!” “Bets, Breasts and Stress! We got it all!” And “Got stress? Vegas Does.”
Lisa Tenner sent enough entries to fill a whole column. Among them: “Vegas. And you think you got problems,” “How bad can it be? We’re back to buffets, free rooms, and burlesque,” “Vegas, still the place to forget your troubles” and “Vegas. We already lost it all. What do you have to lose?”
Skip B.: “Las Vegas: No home, no help, no hope,” “Las Vegas: The New Shaky Town,” “Vegas, baby! Sweatin’ it out — all year long!” and “Las Vegas! Got Neon? Got Me-On Welfare!”
Tracy: “Live, laugh, leave your stress Las Vegas.”
Jerry Greenberg: “Las Vegas: Stress, but no distress.”
Bobby Bernhardt: “You go to Heaven, I’m staying in Vegas!”
Doug Twyman: “Las Vegas: Believe in the fun again” and “It’s okay to have fun again.”
Twyman adds, “The thought behind it is, yes everything is bad, but we need to be optimistic and look to (and plan for) the future and quit the moping around. We need to make positive changes in our outlook and take action to turn things around.”
Nancy Nies has been watching too many “Sopranos” reruns: “Las Vegas? Fuhgeddaboudit.”
John Angerami strikes an optimistic tone: “Las Vegas: The town that will always rebound.”
Tay C. Weber hopes for the best but anticipates a medical emergency: “Las Vegas: Betting that you live long and prosper (but takin’ the points just in case!),” “Las Vegas: Luck be a lady EMT tonight!” And “Las Vegas: A Place to Cheer, A Place to CLEAR!”
Dave Harris struck an official tone: “Las Vegas: We will do our best to please you in these economic times.”
John from Henderson: “Las Vegas: Let us entertain you. All therapy costs reimbursed. The purchase of 50 drinks required.”
From Joy Greenberg, a former Florida resident who describes herself as in her “late 70s”: “Las Vegas is the Entertainment Capital of the World” and adds, “Live Life. Las Vegas” and “Wanna live? Las Vegas.”
“I love Las Vegas,” Greenberg says. “I could live anyplace in the world, but I chose Las Vegas. I feel so good here. I love everything about it. With the recession and everything, they’re doing the best they can. Las Vegas doesn’t make you forget, but it does ease the pain.”
Of course, because it’s an election year, some folks can’t help infusing a little politics.
“We’re the new No. 1 stressful city,” the delicate caller began. “Gee, John, that would be because of your benefactor, Harry Reid, along with his benefactor, Obama. They have destroyed Las Vegas …”
I’m not sure all that will fit in a single advertisement, but it sounds like the stress is getting to some.
John L. Smith’s column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith.