Ever wonder who would get married in a drive-thru?
“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? And do you want fries and a shake with that? I do.”
Well, apparently it’s fun-loving people such as Milwaukee Brewers relief pitcher Brandon Kintzler.
The Las Vegas native and Palo Verde High School graduate married girlfriend Melissa at The Little White Wedding Chapel’s Drive Thru Tunnel of Love before the season started.
“It was just a cool experience,” Kintzler, 29, said. “Just to do something different.”
The couple — who got married, partly, to speed up the immigration process for Melissa, who is from Canada — said their vows in Kintzler’s grandfather’s 1940 Chevrolet Special Deluxe.
His boxer, Bo, was dressed in a tuxedo in the back seat sitting next to Kintzler’s agent, who was a witness.
“But the dog is on the marriage certificate, too,” Kintzler said.
A tourist bus stopped to take pictures of Bo — named after Bo Jackson — in an outfit Melissa found online for $30.
“I thought she was joking,” Kintzler said. “But I come home one day, and Bo’s in a tuxedo. He looked pissed.”
The ceremony, which a minister performed while leaning out of the drive-thru window, cost $50.
“Cheapest wedding ever,” Kintzler said. “The most expensive part was the video. That was like $80.”
The couple will get married in front of family and friends around New Year’s in a more traditional ceremony in Jamaica. “She deserves a real wedding, so we’ll have a real one,” Kintzler said.
■ NCAA NACHOS — The NCAA understandably penalizes athletes for accepting money, but it would be ridiculous for South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney and Clemson quarterback Tajh Boyd to be punished because a restaurant named menu items after them.
The Daniel Island (S.C.) Grille offers several sports-themed dishes, such as the Dick Vitale “Yeah Baby” back ribs and the Muggsy Bogues shrimp platter.
It also offers Tajh Boyd chicken quesadillas and Clowney’s turkey avocado wrap (Clowney’s flat-tened bread pizza with crushed tomato sauce would be more appropriate).
These items violate an NCAA bylaw that states if a student-athlete’s name or picture is used to promote a product without his knowledge or permission, the student-athlete (or his school) is required to take steps to stop the activity in order to retain his eligibility.
Clemson has sent a cease-and-desist letter to the DIG; South Carolina is sure to do the same.
Elsewhere, the NCAA ruled Monday that Middle Tennessee State freshman Steven Rhodes can play immediately after serving five years in the Marines. It’s a reversal of an earlier decision to rule Rhodes ineligible because he played intramural football during his military service.
Rhodes will remain eligible — provided a deli doesn’t serve a Steven Rhodes Marine-ated chicken wrap.
The DIG should add NCAA nachos to its menu — big, messy and guaranteed to give you heartburn.
COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL