Parting shots fill obit pages

Life's too short not to have a sense of humor.

That sentiment was shared by several sports fans who fired parting shots at their favorite teams in their obituaries, such as this one from Sunday's Kansas City (Mo.) Star:

"Loren G. 'Sam' Lickteig passed away on Nov. 14, 2012 of complications from MS and heartbreaking disappointment caused by the Kansas City Chiefs football team."

Said Jennifer Lickteig, Sam's daughter: "My dad was such a comedian. He loved the Chiefs, so we had to let him have the last word."

While most Broncos fans would agree Peyton Manning has breathed new life into the franchise, Denver fan Jim Driver died on the day Manning agreed to terms with the team. That might not have been a coincidence, according to this excerpt from Driver's obituary in the Columbia (Mo.) Daily Tribune:

"An avid Broncos fan, he abhorred Manning and evidently wanted out before a deal was done."

Few obituaries are as entertaining as the one posted in the Hartford (Conn.) Courant last year for former Central Connecticut State professor Robert Spiegel, a die-hard Mets fan who taught a course on the literature of baseball.

"This was thinly veiled therapy to alleviate the trauma he sustained from coaching arguably the worst little league team in recorded (or unrecorded) history and from the sufferings he endured from 40 years as a devout Mets fan," Spiegel's son Jeff wrote. "At the end of his life Robert battled with cardiac disease and dementia. Whereas the disease did thankfully erase most memories of the '62 Mets season, it eventually also claimed his life.

"Bedside vigil was fueled by lively conversation, background music of Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley, chicken curry and the occasional smuggled glass of Glenlivet."

Fittingly, it was Buffett who penned the lyrics, "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."

With apologies, we don't have enough space to delve into obituaries from the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

■ WINK AND AN AFRO - Philadelphia 76ers center Andrew Bynum and former Chicago Cubs outfielder Jose Cardenal have two things in common: huge Afros and bizarre injuries.

Already sidelined by a bone bruise in his right knee, Bynum told ESPN.com on Sunday that he injured his left knee - wait for it - while bowling.

We're guessing he stumbled while backing away from the dreaded shoe spray. That probably would have blinded Cardenal, who on Opening Day in 1974 claimed he couldn't play because his eyelid was stuck open.

The colorful Cardenal also bowed out before a game in 1972 because he said crickets in his hotel room had kept him awake all night.

Apparently, he couldn't sleep a wink.

■ SORE SCOTT - Upset with a New York Daily News story in which several unnamed Jets ripped Tim Tebow, Jets linebacker Bart Scott tried in vain to lead a media boycott after Sunday's win over the Rams.

When linebacker Bryan Thomas broke the boycott, Scott called him "a MF-ing sellout," prompting safety Yeremiah Bell to tell Scott to "Stop it. Just stop it."

Shortly thereafter, Scott started answering questions himself.

We'd hate to see him lead a hunger strike. It would be over before breakfast.

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL