Apocatlypse: My end-of-the-world interview with Josie

A California preacher claims that Saturday will be the end of the world, so I decided to seek last-minute truths from someone who is endowed with just as much authority and wisdom on such ephemeral matters. Herewith is our interview.

QUESTION: Josie, did you hear that Saturday is supposed to be the end of the world?

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: I know. It makes you think, right?

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: I agree. Did you hear that this religious guy is basing his apocalyptic prediction partly on the fact that gay marriages are occurring in America?

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: Right. I tend to think this guy wouldn’t be so judgmental if he enjoyed gay sex.

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: I'm just saying, if I were given the choice between being gay and having the world end, I'd definitely pick being gay, hands down.

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: On the other hand, let’s play "devil’s" advocate, ha ha. What if the religious guy were correct? That would mean all the angelic people would be swept off the Earth and into the clouds — and God would leave all the non-Raptured people to dwell on Earth. Josie, do you think you’d be taken to Heaven with the Raptured people, or left behind?

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: So true. So true. A friend of mine asked her dad about Saturday’s Rapture. He said something like, “If that happens, your mother is going to Heaven — then you, me and your brother can still go to brunch on Sunday.”

JOSIE: Meow.

QUESTION: Yeah, I’m thinking about the pajama brunch at Simon’s. I’ll bring you leftovers and some tasty treats.