‘Fat Vampire’ stuck in puberty for eternity

Doug Lee is a vampire — a 15-year-old, nerdy, short, doughy vampire.

He has shared his secret with only one person, his best friend, Jay, who helps him try to feed, be it stealing blood from the donation bus at Comic-Con or sneaking into the San Diego Zoo to find an animal.

The trip to the zoo does not go well. A close encounter with panda Lee Ling and her cub Shuan Shuan lands Doug on the Panda Cam. It doesn’t take long for the video footage to put the star of “Vampire Hunters” on Doug’s trail.

Doug’s not too worried about the television show as he and Jay try to test out his powers and weaknesses, like whether a cross can ward off a Jewish vampire, or maybe a Star of David will do the trick. But more than his powers, Doug’s really interested in girls, specifically an Internet-addicted Indian exchange student named Sejal, who Doug hopes to charm.

Adam Rex’s “Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story” begins with a clever premise: an overweight, geeky teen doomed to stay that way forever. Laugh-out-loud dialogue peppers the pages as Doug and Jay make their nerd pilgrimage to Comic-Con and then their disastrous trip to the zoo. But things soon turn dark as Doug begins to strengthen his abilities. He becomes cocky, mean and, well, unlikable.

From there things only get worse. With no other standout character to work with, Rex leaves Doug to wallow in his own mess, never fully redeeming the character. Rex goes from a clever, funny premise to a lazy, pick-your-own ending that will no doubt disappoint, if not anger, readers.

It’s too bad really. With the glut of vampire fiction filling shelves today, “Fat Vampire” could have been a refreshing twist. Instead, the cleverness and wit fades as Rex loses his way on a path many before him have traveled.