Personal history in foster care helps social worker understand youths

Most stories that spotlight the foster care system are focused on the heinous crimes that foster parents commit or on the imperfect system itself, but northwest Las Vegas resident Judy Tudor has a different story to share.

Tudor, a UNLV child welfare-training specialist and social work instructor, credits the system for saving her from a life of abuse and emotional trauma.

"The only time you hear about the foster care system is when someone has done something really bad as opposed to the hundreds of stories of kids in foster care that have been able to become successful," Tudor said. "What people don't see is that most families are reunited or achieve permanency. For me, being in the foster care system really saved my life, and I really wanted to give back to the system."

A PAINFUL UPBRINGING

Tudor grew up with a mother addicted to drugs and two abusive stepfathers. It took family members years to realize that something was wrong because Tudor hid it well.

"As a teen, my defense mechanism to what was going on was to pretend that everything was OK," Tudor said. "That's why I always got good grades."

It was in the midst of finals week during her sophomore year of high school that things quickly changed.

Tudor was taken out of school and placed in Child Haven after a family member found out about the sexual and physical abuse that she was enduring from her stepfather.

"I remember going down to a dark basement and having a body check performed on me, which was really uncomfortable as a 15-year-old girl," Tudor said. "Everything just happened so quickly. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was very concerned about whether or not people would really believe me. I was afraid of what it would do to my family."

Tudor stayed at Child Haven for a month until she was placed in foster care with an aunt by marriage. She was put in therapy and received supervised visitations with her mother, who blamed her for the family discord.

"People felt like they had to take sides, and I felt responsible for all of that," Tudor said.

To add to her pile of troubles, at 16, Tudor became paralyzed from the waist down during the summer before her senior year.

"Doctors thought I had taken drugs or that it was the result of psychosomatic symptoms," Tudor said. "They eventually diagnosed me with transverse myelitis, which is caused by the thinning of the spinal cord. They didn't know if I'd ever be able to walk. I felt that I was living two lives at that point."

For a year, she said she was depressed until she realized that she had to move on.

UNDERSTANDING TODAY'S FOSTER CHILDREN

Aside from coming from a broken family, foster youths face a plethora of issues, including trauma, grief and loss.

"Think about it: They're removed from their family and placed in the care of strangers or a family member that they barely know," Tudor said. "Oftentimes, they are moved from place to place, and they experience the cycle of grief and loss over and over again."

Those who don't achieve permanency and age out of the system are faced with a new set of challenges.

One percent of those who age out of the system and apply for college will make it through their first year, according to Tudor.

Tudor estimates that there are 450,000 children in foster care nationwide.

In addition, 40 to 60 percent of youths end up homeless after they leave the system, she said.

"They don't have any caretakers; they don't have a safety net," Tudor said. "They're on their own. The key thing for youth in foster care is that they have at least one person in their life that believes in them and will be there for them. That's why I entered this field."

Before leaving the foster system, Tudor went to a camp for foster youth preparing to leave foster care called Youth Speak Out. There, she met Thom Reilly, a former child welfare administrator, who currently serves as director of the Morrison Institute for Public Policy at Arizona State University School of Public Affairs.

"She was very articulate as a youth and was able to effectively communicate her thoughts and represent the interests of other youth," Reilly said. "She has been able to keep that passion and personal insight concerning the plight of foster care youth over the years."

EMBRACING THE FUTURE

Though Tudor never forgot her experiences and has been confined to a wheelchair since being diagnosed, she's stayed positive.

"I knew had I stayed in that environment, there would've been drugs in my future, and I would have ended up pregnant," Tudor said. "Unfortunately, I saw a lot of those things happen to my brother because he stayed."

Instead, she made it her mission to help foster children.

Reilly became Tudor's adjunct instructor at UNLV and mentor when she interned under him at the Clark County Department of Family Services.

"Her education and her years as a child welfare worker and manager (have) enabled her to evolve into a competent, effective and compassionate professional and advocate," Reilly said. "Her intimate knowledge of how the child welfare system works as well as her personal experience in foster care has made her a unique professional."

Tudor graduated from UNLV in 1997 with a master's degree in social work. She began her 20-year career as a caseworker and went on to perform leadership roles as a supervisor and manager of several units within the Nevada Division of Child & Family Services and Clark County Department of Family Services.

As a child welfare training specialist for the UNLV School of Social Work's workforce development program, Tudor works with local agencies to connect with those in foster care.

"My past gives me a unique perspective," she said.

She often shares the story of an 11-year-old boy she was assigned to help as a caseworker. He wanted to see his mother, but she was nowhere to be found.

He was confident that his mother was living in a building with a white cross on it on Bonanza Road. Tudor drove up and down Bonanza and found the white cross two years later.

"I saw a white fleur de lys on the side of an apartment building," Tudor said. "In that moment, I saw it as that could be his cross. I share this story because I want to emphasize the importance of listening to youth and what they have to say to social workers and case managers. We need to see things from their point of view."

Her passion to give foster youths a voice also led her to develop a youth advisory board in Clark County and a statewide advisory board.

"She has made important systemic changes in how Nevada treats foster care youth," Reilly said. "Foster care youth, parents of children involved in the child welfare system, attorneys, agency staff and judges listen when she speaks."

A FAIRYTALE ENDING

Before her stepfather died, he asked Tudor to attend a treatment session with him.

It was there that he apologized for all of his wrongdoings.

"It helped me validate these things I knew that were wrong that I was afraid no one else would believe," Tudor said. "It was a powerful and courageous act on his part."

She is part of the Foster Care Alumni of America Nevada chapter, which works to connect the alumni community and to transform policy and practice, ensuring opportunities for people in and from foster care.

Tudor has been married for 21 years and has two high school-aged daughters.

"I remember the first time my mom told me about her childhood, and how, even though it was difficult for her, she told me every part of it. I remember that I was just so thankful that she was my mother and that she was in my life," said Alexis Tudor, 17. "Her strength and courage against adversity is something I admire in her, and when I grow older, I want to be just like her and have a positive impact on the world like she has. She is, by far, the strongest, bravest person I have ever known."

Tudor credits her success to the Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) volunteer who advocated for her during her stay at Child Haven and to the family members who never left her side.

She plans to retire in four years and looks forward to a new chapter in life — one that could possibly include fostering or adopting a child.

"I really believe that God has put people and situations in my life for a purpose," Tudor said. "That has kept me moving forward. I really feel like I've been able to break that cycle, and I just feel incredibly fortunate to be here."

— To reach North View reporter Sandy Lopez, email slopez@viewnews.com or call 702-383-4686. Find her on Twitter: @JournalismSandy.