Sanford cuts the check; Ensign must be envious

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford has agreed to pay $74,000 to settle his sexcapade travel budget problems.

Born-again hypocrite Sanford was tied up in an ethics probe after it was revealed that he used state and campaign funds to fund his travel to Argentina with his mistress. The result of the sex scandal was not only the loss of Sanford’s laughable high ground as a Christian naysayer and scold, but also the publication of an equally finger-wagging book by his suffering wife.

Sanford was originally charged with 37 ethics violations, which essentially means nothing since most ethics laws result in scoldings and wrist slaps and small fines. But the good news is, his willingness to pay a fine puts his lying name back in the public eye. Bless the boy.

What makes my ribs ache is the fact Sanford also has agreed to pay $2,000 to avoid a public hearing on the matter. This is something the good people of South Carolina should protest against.

How many times in that state’s history have residents been able to generate so much entertainment and outright titillation for a mere $2,000? Never, is my guess. It’s a rare treat for the lowly taxpaying voting public and one that should be cherished and celebrated. I, for one, propose Nevadans send residents of South Carolina floral bouquets and strong whiskey to commemorate the occasion.

Because, before it’s over, I have a feeling we’re going to be kindred spirits.

In Washington, federal investigators have called a grand jury to explore the potential felonious behavior of Nevada Sen. John Ensign, R-Motel 6. Ensign is very much like Sanford in behavior, but less wise than the South Carolinian in political acumen. Instead of puking his guts up in confession, Ensign has done a slow bleed and is about to discover just how much that hurts the cheating scumbag politician.

Whether Ensign’s sins equate to felonies, Senate ethics violations, or simply the kind of thing that makes him a laughing stock at the Smith’s Food King isn’t as important as the fact it’s been established he has no business being a U.S. Senator.

Look, a lot of people would like that job and many people would be competent in that capacity. Ensign needs Nevada to massage his ego. Nevada doesn’t need Ensign – or any other public servant who scandalizes the people’s office and then tries to hustle his way out of trouble.

But I guess the good news is, South Carolina is finally getting some from their Luv Gov. That’s as it should be.

With a little luck, we'll be celebrating soon.