Congress chose not to extend unemployment benefits in time for the holiday shopping season, ho ho ho. In light of that news, I went looking for contests that you, dear unemployed person, can engage in to win cash and prizes this weekend.
Alas, I have terrible news: Big crazy contests are in low supply! Here’s what I found:
I hope you’ve got a mustache on your face, because the Silverton inaugurates “Mustachio Bashio,” featuring beer pong, band karaoke, a mashed potato-eating contest, a mariachi band and $1 beer.
Doors open at 6 p.m. Waiting on the winner’s table: an iPad and T-shirts.
The dearth of contests begs the question: Whatever happened to all the free-boob contests in Vegas?
Let us remember recent history (two years ago), when flat-chested ladies of late night — armies of A-cuppers —performed lewd acts in front of hundreds of hooting strangers in nightclubs in order to win a pair of new can-cans from very, very respectable Vegas doctors.
Oh, that’s right, t he nightclub Prive shut down. That was the end of free boobs, I think.
Anyway, unemployed person, you should go check out our jobs listings, because Congress does not feel sorry for you this season.
I do have one other tip: Some new restaurant called i(heart)burgers (yes, it’s one word, lowercase) is hiring 100 people over the age of 21 at the Palazzo Sunday (noon-5 p.m.) and Monday (9 a.m.-2 p.m.), and they’re looking for someone they refer to as “the first milkshake-ologist in the history of mankind.”
If you prefer to stay jobless, however, drink your troubles away for free at McFadden’s on Saturday night — but only if your birthday is in November — and only between 10 p.m. and midnight Saturday. Yep, two hours of binging. Don’t drive drunk afterward.
“Jackass 3-D’s” Bam Margera strolls into club Lavo around 10 p.m. Saturday.
A Perfect Circle does two special nights Saturday and Sunday at the Palms ($39-$49). … Black Label Society canceled their Sunday show at House of Blues. … 3OH!3 pops Saturday into House of Blues ($30). … Ray Romano and Kevin James combine forces Saturday at Mirage ($105.40-$138.40). … Lifehouse alt-rocks tonight at Hard Rock ($29.50-$33). … Garth Brooks is back tonight-Sunday at Wynn ($143). … Basia sings Saturday at Red Rock ($23). … Beach Boys go Saturday to Primm’s Terrible’s ($38.45-$54.95). … And Fuel headlines Saturday’s wine tasting-and-concert “Rock ‘n Roll Wine” at Rio’s Crown theater ($45).