Good irony is as rich as a seven-diamond hooker, just like this:
When Jason Itzler ran an escort service in New York, he hired the prostitute Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Soon after, attorney general Elliot Spitzer put Itzler in jail for being a pimp. Then, stupid Gov. Spitzer sexed up Dupre, got scandalized and resigned.
That makes Itzler the pimp who first hired the hooker that brought down Spitzer who took down Itzler. And now this ex-pimp is out of jail and planning to open a matchmaking office in Las Vegas. He’s looking for hot, sophisticated young women to marry millionaires.
Why Vegas and not Indiana?
"Theoretically, I would take one (from Indiana), but what are the odds they’ll be cool, sophisticated and hot?" Itzler, 41, says. "I’m gonna have a way better chance in Vegas."
"Vegas has the hottest chicks in the world — mentally AND physically."
Mentally. Hmm. Interesting.
While talking with me about this on Monday, he also started wondering if he should open a legal and elegant superbrothel outside of Vegas where Richie Riches could be helicoptered to trysts.
He laughs but sounds 15 percent serious when he wonders if one of our local mighty-mighties from the Vegas condo and hotel circles might ante up $100 million to resurrect Itzler’s defunct escort service, New York Confidential, as a treasure chest of high-class debauchery in the desert. (FYI: Review-Journal columnist Norm Clarke’s Vegas Confidential is NOT an escort service.)
"A Turnberry-quality brothel — that’s what this country needs," he muses. "I have the balls. Maybe somebody in Vegas has the money."
The luxury whorehouse idea is just a thought, for now. But Itzler’s millionaire dating service, DNA Diamonds in New York, is for real. You can see the proposal at http://dnadiamonds.com/.
Who should apply to be Mrs. Trophy Wife? Not strippers or escorts, Itzler says, staking out yet another bit of irony. If you want to be a well-to-do wife, but you’re a hooker, "Don’t tell me, because that won’t cut it," he says. "I would hate to be judgmental."
For starters then, he’d like to eye "Vegas girls," "showgirls are pretty hot stuff," plus "girls that work in the best lounges," and "people in player relations." (Attention all you: Itzler says you can e-mail him at Jason.Itzler@yahoo.com.)
He’s already searching for bodies with brains in Miami, New York and L.A., and he wouldn’t rule out an occasional "hot girl from Ukraine. … Russian girls are guided missiles for money and very cute. It’s almost worth it. Let ’em have it."
One future DNA Diamonds husband could be Artie Lange (funny and losing weight) of both Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show, and of gambling lots of cash here. On Stern’s Monday show, the former "King of All Pimps" pitched Artie an offer he couldn’t eat: that Itzler will find him a marry-able lady to love him long time.
Will Artie’s future wife be a Vegas girl?
Itzler knows the difference between Summerlin women and Henderson girls. He used to come here for years. He got married in 1994 at the, of course, Little White Chapel. He divorced a year later. Sometime thereafter, he became familiar with Olympic Garden. Then he made a boatload in the phone sex trade before losing $20 million in a business fight.
Before Spitzer sent him to jail for two and half years, "The last place I really enjoyed was the Hard Rock, when the Hard Rock had its day," he says. "I used to bring girls so fabulous there, the Morton guy (Hard Rock former owner Peter Morton) would hang out with us (in the casino, not in whore beds). Peter? And that’s a compliment."
What’s he looking forward to on reconnaissance trips here? Surprise, surprise: "I’m living to go to that Maloof Playboy Club."