Christopher Lawrence

Children tearfully watch filmstrips about how their best chance to survive a nuclear attack is to “duck and cover.” James Donovan (Tom Hanks) looks on in horror as Berliners are gunned down trying to clamber over the newly constructed wall. At one point, shots are fired into his New York home.

It’s a little-known fact of film criticism: Saturday morning screenings are almost universally awful.

You wanna win the war on drugs? Find a way to get each cartel boss alone in a room, then have Benicio Del Toro glare at him. It won’t be long before the world’s supply of illicit substances dwindles to whatever weed Seth Rogen happens to be holding.

Space travel + ’70s-era radio hits = awesomeness.