Paths to parenthood: Summerlin-area moms share their child-rearing journeys

Sunday, we salute our mothers. View recently spoke to three Summerlin-area women who shared their stories about the trials and triumphs of being a mom.

A MOTHER NEVER GIVES UP

Thirty years ago, Stephanie Vrsnik and her husband, Daniel, were expecting their second child. Christian was born healthy, but by the time he was 15 months old, his mother knew something wasn’t right. Christian cried a lot, and he did not like being touched.

“He would have meltdowns because he couldn’t communicate,” said Stephanie, who lives north of Summerlin. “He would bang his head against the wall, bite himself and scratch his face all the way down. It tore my heart out.”

Christian eventually was diagnosed with autism, but this was before the Internet, so Stephanie went to the library but found little help. Her son began avoiding eye contact and did not want to be in a room with other people, preferring instead to be in the corner.

One day, when Christian was almost 3, Stephanie took him into the smallest room in their house, a bathroom, and brought in building blocks. She sat on the floor with him and waited. When Christian used the blocks to build something, she mimicked him. He built, and she mimicked. He noticed, and that was the first time she said she “got through to him” — a simple interaction but a monumental breakthrough. They spent a wonderful afternoon playing together.

“It was the first time I’d ever hugged him without him screaming and stiffening,” she said.

Stephanie said it was a turning point for her, too. She stopped lamenting about her son’s condition and “got to a point where I was on a mission.” She found Christian the help that he needed, including schooling and programs.

She said the first time Christian spoke was when he was 7.

“That was the first time I heard ‘Mama,’ ” she said. “It was the best day of my life.”

She and her husband devoted themselves to their son’s improvement, helping him grow into a young man.

Asked how his mother helped him handle a tough situation, Christian answered via email, writing, “I remember she would tell me, ‘Take a deep breath buddy,’ and always reminded me that I am smart.”

Though Christian still lives with his parents and cannot drive, he lives life on his own terms, working full time in a commercial kitchen, doing his job with a devotion to perfection.

A STRUGGLE TO CONCEIVE

Sari Dennis, who lives in Desert Shores, grew up in Toronto. She said she always wanted to be a mother and envisioned having four children.

At 26, she married Tony. The couple soon decided to begin a family, but after a year with no results, they sought help.

Doctors told Sari she had three strikes against her: endometritis (an inflammation of the inner uterus lining); a retroverted (tipped) uterus; and luteinized unruptured follicle syndrome. Their only option was in vitro fertilization. They were told that within three or four months, she would be pregnant, but that didn’t happen.

“It’s very invasive on the body,” Sari said of the procedure. “There’s a lot of poking and prodding; it’s an arduous process. … Emotionally, it was pretty devastating. I felt a sense of shame and dysfunction, like I was a failure.”

Four and a half years after that first trip to the fertility specialist, she was able to produce nine eggs, which were removed. Six were fertilized in a petri dish. Four of the six, judged the best prospects, were placed back in her. About two weeks later, she was desperate to learn if one of them had taken.

“I stopped at the drugstore to get a pregnancy test,” Sari said. “It was a little early, but I couldn’t wait. I took the test, and for the first time, I saw the (indication) that I was pregnant. … That was an amazing feeling. I was elated.”

Sari had a normal pregnancy, even a great pregnancy — no morning sickness, no dizziness — and delivered a baby girl. They named her Rachel.

Sari wrote a poem for her and kept the petri dish that made her birth possible. She later expanded the poem into a book aimed at helping parents broach the subject of telling in vitro children how they came to be.

That book, “My Little Dish: The Story of Your Creation Through In Vitro Fertilization,” is available on Amazon.

Rachel is now a freshman at the University of Arizona. She recalled learning how she was conceived in a special way.

“My mom began to introduce the subject of in vitro when I was around 4 years old,” she said. “She first started talking about it when I asked her about siblings, and my mom explained that she had difficulty having one child. … As I got older, I began to understand the meaning behind the words and behind the dish. I was able to see my situation as special; my mom and her poem helped me see this difference, in vitro, in a positive way rather than a negative one.”

SINGLE MOM TOOK ON MANY ROLES

Lisa Bybee Ferrell of South Summerlin moved to Las Vegas from San Francisco in 1996. On Jan. 28, she welcomed her first grandchild, Marin Lucy Hyden, into the world.

“I was by my daughter’s side for 36 hours of labor,” Bybee Ferrell said. “She had a home birth, and I cannot begin to tell you what a champ my daughter was.”

But it was a long road, getting to that point. A single mother raising three children — Aja, Porsha and Alex — Bybee Ferrell sold broadcast airtime for radio and television for 35 years in Northern California and then in Las Vegas for 19. She juggled her sales job while playing several roles at home — chef, chauffeur, confidant, referee, teacher, sideline cheerleader, homework helper, family entertainment director, primary provider, money manager and mother-father — all rolled into one.

What was that like, balancing work and family?

“It was incredibly difficult to give my children all the attention they demanded while working 10- to 12-hour days,” she said. “I kept my children involved in extracurricular activities such as dancing, acting, singing, sports, travel and arts.”

She said the biggest lesson she learned about being a mom in that time was: people first; money second; and life and work excellence while pushing for personal balance.

She and longtime partner Jesse Ferrell married last year, choosing a date that would be hard to forget come anniversary time: 11:11 a.m. on Jan. 11. They now run their own business, JessTalk Speaking & Coaching Firm.

Bybee Ferrell’s daughter Aja, 28, recently joined the business as a life coach, specializing in helping teens and the 20-something demographic find their purpose and passion in life.

To reach Summerlin Area View reporter Jan Hogan, email jhogan@viewnews.com or call 702-387-2949.