Don’t let deceptive boss drag you down; get help you need

Alli (“AJ”) Russo of Tobyhanna, Pa., arranged with her boss of five years to reduce her hours until a college internship ended, only to find her boss’s son in the full-time position she expected upon return.

“I told her very politely that I wished she’d have told me this prior to my leaving for my internship,” Russo says, “because I’d have reconsidered. I had school loans, a car payment, insurance and rent, and I couldn’t afford my hours cut.”

Her supervisor offered a less attractive alternative. A year later, Russo left for a full-time job with a higher salary.

Paul Vann, founder of Wealth Building Academy LLC in Fort Washington, Md., was consulting in a divisive workplace.

The director tarnished his credibility by slashing budgets for 105 units without notice.

“(She) informed me that even though she’d approved the budgets,” Vann recalls, “she felt it was best to cut (them) without justification.”

Shortly thereafter, he left.

These cases confirm the self-interest Lauren Bloom, a Washington, D.C., attorney and business ethics speaker, says motivates deceptive bosses.

“They try to make themselves look good, avoid trouble with their superiors or get ahead without putting in the work they need to,” she explains.

You might want to confront your boss if he or she doesn’t appear to be a deceptive person overall, Bloom says. Not acting, or obtaining advice, may backfire. Discovery by a third party may make you and your boss equally culpable.

STEPS TO TAKE

If your boss came from another industry, the mistake might be innocent, Bloom says.

“Make sure you’re dealing with true deception,” she says. Get your facts straight before taking action.

She highly recommends speaking to your boss’s boss — or getting help from a mentor in your company to whom you don’t report, such as a human resources representative, a company attorney, a senior manager or the company hotline.

If you decide to confront your boss, “have a plan for what you’ll do and what your boss needs to do,” says Patti Wood, body language expert and speaker at Communication Dynamics Inc., in Atlanta. “Be prepared to go take action and follow through immediately.” However, she cautions that an unstable boss may make you uncomfortable or even present danger. In the latter case, she suggests finding a different method in a safe environment.

“A compulsive liar,” she says, “will continue to deny any evidence of deceit you (present). Be prepared to repeat your statements of evidence. Repeat your plan and … what (the person) must do.”

Don’t let tears or anger dissuade you from your course of action, Wood adds. If the meeting fails, Brian Penny, a financial services whistle-blower in Phoenix, says your boss isn’t the end of the road.

“If you can’t fix things by talking, talk to that person’s boss and HR,” Penny says. “If things still don’t change, don’t be afraid to blow the whistle by speaking to government regulators (if relevant). Have written proof ... before talking to anyone, as your boss and company will go out of their way to silence you.”

Blacklisted in his industry, he’s been active with regulators and class action attorneys while writing freelance and consulting in search-engine optimization.

If the person admits the mistake but doesn’t lie compulsively, Wood suggests infusing compassion and forgiveness. In time, that compassion and forgiveness will also let you off the hook emotionally so you can move forward.