THE WATER COOLER

Here are some things in news, sports, entertainment and popular culture that we've been talking about lately.

• Las Vegas hosts the NBA Mascot Conference. Thanks to its mobbed-up past, Las Vegas is the only city in the world where guys named "Rumble the Bison" and "Stuff the Magic Dragon" can feel right at home.

• Former Congressman Tom DeLay will compete on "Dancing with the Stars." Playing this season's role of "repellent pseudocelebrity paired with whichever professional dancer drew the short straw."

• Reader's Digest reportedly prepares to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. But, in accordance with standard Reader's Digest practice, condensed to Chapter 51/2.

• Convicted dog killer Michael Vick serves an 18-month sentence, signs with the Philadelphia Eagles, says he's now repulsed by his actions. Who knew that growing an entire conscience takes barely more time than it takes to grow a Chia Pet?

• A study finds that traces of cocaine can be found on as much as 90 percent of U.S. paper bills. Meanwhile, traces of stale beer can be found on as much as 100 percent of U.S. quarters.

• Chevrolet claims its new Volt hybrid will get 230 miles per gallon. OK, now they're just showing off.

JOHN PRZYBYS (jprzybys@reviewjournal.com)