Sin City a go-go a no-go

Benny Griffin and his buddy sidle up to the bar at the Roadrunner Saloon in Summerlin.

"Hey, how are you doing?" asks one of two provocatively attired young women already there.

They exchange pleasantries.

"I'm kind of thirsty," the woman says.

Before Griffin can spring for four drinks, a third woman commands his attention by speaking softly into his ear.

"Listen, they're gonna talk to you like they're so into you just to get you to buy them drinks," says Bria Elam, a 28-year-old project manager for a tile company. "They've been doing that for the last three hours."

Griffin's attention quickly switches gears. He joins Elam and her three girlfriends, who are lounging on cushioned chairs in the center of the room. After everyone has met, they begin a conversation about how difficult it is to meet people in Las Vegas.

"I'm ready to meet someone serious," says Elam, who moved here nearly 10 months ago from Myrtle Beach, S.C. "But since I've been here, it's been guys telling you what you want to hear, just to date you or whatever. Then you find out they're really not interested."

The Las Vegas Valley isn't overrun with singles, at least according to U.S. Census figures. A little more than 650,000 people, 47 percent of the population older than 15, have never been married or are widowed or divorced. That's slightly higher than the nationwide average of 44 percent.

But analysis from Sperling's Best Places lists Las Vegas' singles population in the nation's top 10.

An abundant singles population in Las Vegas seems logical considering the traits commonly associated with the city: a robust night life, tourism, gaming and adult entertainment, among others.

While these factors might lure singles to the valley, they also might hinder the chances for long-term relationships.

PEOPLE ON THE MOVE

For starters, transience and true love don't play well together.

"People come here for the money," Elam says. "If it doesn't start working, in two or three years, they're gone. They're here for work, they want to hang out at the clubs all night and meet different people. And there's a lot of people who don't get serious."

Between 1995 and 2000, the last year U.S. Census statistics are available, 32 percent of Las Vegas residents relocated.

"What we have is a large population of individuals who have influxed into the Vegas area, primarily for work," says Gary Solomon, professor of psychology at the Community College of Southern Nevada. "A certain percentage of those people find it to be somewhat unsuccessful. So they may leave abruptly or change their plans abruptly."

It's this mind-set, Solomon says, that makes it more difficult for the singles who do plan to stay.

The transience issue as it relates to the singles community, though, has just as much to do with Las Vegas' status as tourist central.

"When you go out, you get the opinion that if you go to the Strip, you're gonna meet someone who's transient," says Linda Crane, a business owner in her 40s. "They'll be out of town in three days. These guys at Tryst and these places are in it for fun, not to share a grave with someone."

Vijay Uppal moved here nearly a year ago to work on a political campaign. Hailing from San Diego, the 29-year-old wasn't far from home. Such proximity to family and friends made for frequent visits on both his part and theirs.

"When I would go out, it was because I had friends in town, and every time it would be somewhere on the Strip, so the likelihood of meeting a local was slim," Uppal recalls while packing up to leave the city he called home for eight months.

Uppal went on three dates as a Las Vegan. Two of them went nowhere, and the other one was in San Diego.

"I never went out thinking, 'I'm gonna see the girl I might want to hook up with and date,'" he says. But in San Diego, he would.

"Maybe it's because it's permanency and my hometown, so I feel more comfortable," he says.

TOO MUCH OF A GAMBLE?

Another factor that can hinder the search for a soul mate is the city's reliance on gambling for employment and for entertainment.

A 2002 report by Gemini Research for the Nevada Department of Human Resources estimated that between 32,700 and 53,500 Nevada residents have gambling problems, while an additional 40,100 to 63,900 gamble pathologically. Combined, this gives a prevalence rate of 6.4 percent, greater than any other state where problem gambling prevalence has been measured similarly. The second-highest, Mississippi, scored 4.9 percent.

"The number of people with impulse disorders in this community, in my opinion, is severely underdiagnosed," psychology professor Solomon says. "This community is a magnet for individuals with impulse disorders."

Of Nevada's problem gamblers, 63.5 percent never have been married or are divorced, separated or widowed, according to the Gemini Research report.

The anti-social nature of gambling also makes it harder for people to meet.

"If one goes to a casino at 10 o'clock at night on a weekend, one sees a (great) number of individuals sitting around at those machines," Solomon says. "In any other place in the country, you're going to end up in a nightclub or an environment where people are doing sociable things. Here, one gathers in a large building and then gambles by themselves."

The nature of the gaming industry ties into another problem cited by subjects interviewed for this story: work schedules.

"You meet someone, and they're like, 'I work this shift, I work that shift,'" says Lenny Giarratano, a 49-year-old time-share salesman. "Everybody's got a conflict of everything. It's a very, very difficult dating scene in Las Vegas."

Giarratano relocated from Chicago for brighter job prospects. While he has had luck in business, he has had none in love.

"All the girls that are waitresses here have attitudes because they're making so much money they think they're better than you," he says. "And half of the time, when I find somebody I'm interested in, she's in the entertainment field. She's a stripper or a dancer."

While statistics are scarce, the Sin City Chamber of Commerce, a trade organization established by the sex industry, estimates 5,000 to 7,000 women are dancing at local gentlemen's clubs nightly.

This number not only makes it more difficult for local guys to find a girl to take home to mom, it also poses problems for women.

"I think that some men may have a difficult time admitting it," Solomon says, "but if one stands back and observes a single female in a casino, they're viewed completely different than anybody else in that casino. A female who is single in this town is viewed as having a high likelihood of being a hooker or professional of some nature.

"This perception does not exist in other parts of the country, and I think it's very significant."

THE MORALS FACTOR

Despite the Sin City image, there are men and women in Las Vegas looking for traditional relationships.

Michael Utomi II, a business development officer who refers to casual sex as "casual disease," has his reservations about the local dating scene.

"When I go out, I'm not looking to meet someone and sleep with them," he says. "I went out recently and talked with a girl most of the night. She expected sex from me. That was a little surprising. I was a little offended."

His traditional train of thought hasn't proven very successful lately. The 6-foot-5-inch, 27-year-old recalls his last date as a "long, long time ago" and wonders if it has something to do with his sincere approach.

"People don't want to be honest and open," Utomi says. "I have a friend who fabricates a personality every time he goes out. I don't think people think about (being dishonest) at the time they're doing it. Anywhere else (besides Las Vegas) I think they would just be themselves."

Many people interviewed for this story complained about the lack of morals in the Las Vegas singles scene in general.

"Sin City is a good name for it," says Holly Doolittle, a 22-year-old University of Nevada, Las Vegas student from Boise, Idaho. "You have drive-through weddings and drive-through relationships.

"This is a ridiculous city," she adds.

Doolittle's friend, Andre Young, a 21-year-old computer graphics specialist who relocated from Long Beach, Calif., agrees.

"I hate to be rude, but Vegas is real fake to me," he says. "In Vegas, everybody has a hidden agenda, about money or something else. To find a wife or a husband in Vegas, I believe that's just a no-go. It's not gonna happen.

"I love Vegas right now. But I'm pretty sure, as I get older, I'll probably have to look elsewhere if I want to settle down."

The problem is not helped by the city's party reputation, reinforced by the national advertising campaign, "What happens in Vegas ..."

"If debauchery were a religion, Vegas would be Mecca," read a November 2006 article in Maxim magazine that crowned Las Vegas as America's top party city.

"People come here to have fun and party," Elam agrees. "It's like a party zone. Everything you hear is partying and just being out late night. It's hard to meet a good person because they might not be into that."

SOME SUCCESS STORIES

Not every single is frustrated with Las Vegas, however. In fact, the nature of the term single implies a lack of success at finding a life partner, a potential for bias that plagues any survey of uncoupled individuals.

"I don't think it was really hard to meet people," says Jill Kagan, a 27-year-old schoolteacher, who adds that she "dated quite a bit" before meeting her fiancé at a 2004 Halloween party.

"We were partners in a game where you have a toothpick in your mouth and you pass a Lifesaver from toothpick to toothpick," she says.

Robert Montgomery, the 36-year-old baggage operator at the end of the other toothpick, also was a friend of the host's.

"The ironic part was that Robert and I were in the same place many different times," Kagan says. "We just never talked until that point."

During the three years between Kagan's move from Albuquerque, N.M., and meeting Montgomery, she tried online dating and the bar scene, because she says that most of the other teachers at her school were women or unavailable.

"I met a lot of interesting guys," she says, reconsidering her stance.

"I guess it is hard to meet people that you're compatible with," she says, "but I don't know if that necessarily has to do with Las Vegas. I have a couple of good friends back in Albuquerque who are single and can't meet anybody to save their lives."

Some say the dating game is a matter of effort; you get what you give. If anyone has given to the cause it's Linda Benitez, who refused to give up on the dating game even after a potential suitor arrived for their date sans teeth.

"It's been horrible," she says of life as a single woman.

After getting divorced, the 52-year-old discovered the singles scene for baby boomers wasn't exactly booming in Las Vegas.

"The singles scene here caters to people 21 to 30, maybe even mid-30s," Benitez notes. "We don't have places, clubs for people my age. Even at the casinos, if you're over 30, you're too old for the Palms."

Feeling uncomfortable in the singles venues is one thing. Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin is another.

"Las Vegas and the strippers and the clubs makes women this age want face lifts and boob jobs to get those guys," she says.

Benitez took matters into her own hands. She acts as an organizer for a speed-dating service called Cupid.com. Speed dating enables people to meet many potential dates through brief chats at one gathering. Benitez says the events for people older than 45 tend to have a low turnout of men. Why? According to Benitez, the guys in that age group are more interested in attending events for people age 25 to 30.

After five years of dating online, speed dating and exhausting all other resources in search of that special someone, however, Benitez finally found someone a year ago. Once the hunt was over and she found her current boyfriend, it seemed worth it.

"I've realized there's someone for everyone," she says. "Even in Las Vegas."

PARTY OF ONE

Frustration with the singles scene drives some Las Vegans to invent odd coping mechanisms. When the big 4-0 rolled around and Linda Crane hadn't walked down the aisle, she decided she couldn't wait any longer.

"I figured I'd throw myself a wedding reception," says the entertainment consultant, who rented a chapel and bought a three-tiered wedding cake.

Family flew in from out of the country and guests were shuttled from New York-New York to the Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel, where their invitations instructed them to go for a special event.

"I wasn't seeing anyone but they all thought I was getting married," Crane says.

Although they were surprised to find out they had been duped into what was really an elaborate party, the guests found a way to cope. Five couples renewed their vows.

Just as she felt she hit the apex of life as a single woman, one of the chapel employees turned to Crane and said, "You just gave us a great idea: 'spinster weddings!'"

His remark was like the needle scratching the record. "I was like, 'Oh my God. That's what this is?'" Crane recalls. "I was calling it a wedding without a groom."

REVIEW-JOURNAL

In the top 10

Analysis from Sperling's Best Places lists Las Vegas' singles population in the nation's top 10. Sperling's restricted the data to unmarried people ages 25 to 64.

Using this information, Las Vegas has the nation's eighth-largest singles population per capita:

CITY % SINGLE

San Francisco 44.7

Detroit 44.0

New York 39.8

Boston 39.2

New Orleans 39.1

Los Angeles 37.7

Fort Lauderdale 37.2

Las Vegas 37.0

IN TRANSITION

Between 1995 and 2000, the last year U.S. Census statistics are available, 32 percent of Las Vegas residents relocated, a greater percentage than several other cities during the same period:

CITY RELOCATED CITY RELOCATED

Las Vegas 32% San Francisco 21%

Phoenix 24 Los Angeles 15

Denver 24 New York 14

Atlanta 23 Chicago 11

TROUBLE WITH TIMING

With numbers like these, singles in Las Vegas have to exchange work schedules before phone numbers: