Toughest task in Simpson case could be finding jurors able to stay awake

ROCHESTER, Minn.

I found myself in a Country Inn motel in the middle of Minnesota, but through the wonders of Court TV on Friday I was able to catch 34 hours of O.J. Simpson's preliminary hearing on robbery charges.

At least, it seemed like 34 hours.

Perhaps it was only 27, or just 18.

At first I thought the in-room coffee wasn't strong enough. I doubled up the caffeine intake and soldiered on. After all, this wasn't just any memorabilia theft hearing. This was memorabilia theft involving the man America loves to hate, the only man in the country with lower approval ratings than George W. Bush.

Shouldn't that be enough to keep America riveted to the television? It was enough for CNN and Fox News to devote scads of airtime. And it was enough to warrant breathless Court TV coverage complete with enough legal experts to examine all 360 legal degrees.

I gave it a game effort. But within minutes of taking in the proceedings in Justice of the Peace Joe Bonaventure's courtroom, I found myself dozing off. Not just casually catnapping, but grizzly-in-hibernation snoozing.

Where was the pathos? Where was the drama? Where was the TV remote?

The crimes described by Clark County District Attorney David Roger and cooperating witnesses were so mundane and yet seemingly clear-cut. There wasn't a scintilla of suspense.

Yet every time the camera featured Simpson looking tranquilized in his tailored suit, I wondered what The Man Who Beat the Rap was thinking. Were his thoughts like those of the late Al Capone, who killed with impunity but wound up taking a fall for tax evasion? Or was The Juice just thinking of his next tee time?

He didn't appear to be sweating the details as he and his co-defendants, one of whom looked like Little Richard in his booking photo, listened to their accusers.

Cooperating witness Charles Cashmore, a Dickensian moniker if ever there was one, already has appeared on "The Today Show" and admits he has a publicity agent. Just in case there is some coin in it.

Back to the case. Under questioning, Cashmore was clear he saw one pistol drawn and another handgun visible in a waistband of a defendant.

Despite the fact Cashmore cut a nice deal to avoid a prison sentence -- he could get probation -- he seemed pretty credible. He was easily portrayed by the defense as a guy who was willing to go along with the crowd, hang around the notorious celebrity, and run with the comical pack in order to fit in. But isn't that what part of this case is really all about: A bunch of grown men drawn into hanging out with a scummy sociopath who -- thanks to the American system of justice for the rich and famous -- gets to scoff at society?

It became clear -- although Simpson was at the center of the incident, it was his stuff in question and his hastily assembled posse -- Michael McClinton raised the stakes that evening at the Palace Station when he brandished a pistol.

Simpson claimed there were no guns present, but three witnesses agree he either lied to police or suffers from incredibly poor vision.

Cashmore recalled Simpson saying at one point, "I don't want anything that's not mine."

It turns out there was some Joe Montana memorabilia mixed in with Simpson's stuff. No word yet on whether Mr. Montana plans to gather a gang of gun-toting idiots to have his signature items returned.

During a break, a television pundit noted that choosing a jury for this case might be difficult due to Simpson's nearly universal notoriety. But the toughest task will be in finding 12 jurors capable of staying awake during the proceedings. I suggest the court take out an ad:

"JURORS WANTED: INSOMNIACS PREFERRED."

Downstairs at the Country Inn, the friendly desk clerk looked away from the television a moment to answer a question.

"Why are you watching the Simpson hearing?"

"To see if he finally gets his," the clerk said, grinning. "Everyone in the country wants him to finally get what's coming to him."

I think he's right.

Maybe selecting a jury will be harder than I thought.

John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295.