Don’t mess with acting genius of Rex Ryan

Rex Ryan never will be confused with Robert DeNiro. But the brash New York Jets coach must have done some decent acting to pull off a role he'll play in an upcoming Adam Sandler movie.

Ryan will portray a seedy Boston lawyer who is a diehard New England Patriots fan in the film entitled, "I Hate You, Dad."

Sports Illustrated's Peter King shared details Monday of a scene in Ryan's Patriots-themed office in which he tells Sandler, his client, that he owes $43,000 to the IRS.

An enraged Sandler kicks Ryan's desk, disturbing a Bill Belichick bobblehead doll.

"DON'T MESS WITH THE GENIUS," Ryan yells, setting the doll back in its place.

Sandler fumes and throws something at the wall, nearly hitting a Tom Brady Most Valuable Player poster.

"Don't screw up my poster," Ryan said. "He looks so heroic in that shot."

Ryan told King he expects the stoic Belichick to find humor in the scene.

"Oh, he's gonna laugh," Ryan said. "He won't let anybody know he thinks it's funny, but you know Bill. He's not all business. I think he'll appreciate the fun of it."

Belichick has reportedly watched an illegal copy of the movie and will use the information to help the Patriots prepare for Sunday's game against the Jets.

■ FRAT HOUSE KICKER -- Bluto, Flounder and "Frank the Tank" were nowhere to be found Saturday before Tennessee's game against Middle Tennessee State. But fortunately for the Vols, who desperately needed a kicker, former high school kicker Derrick Brodus wasn't too busy, or buzzed, at his fraternity house to rush to the stadium.

"We didn't have a kicker," Tennessee coach Derek Dooley said. "And we had to make a call to the frat house. This is no lie. We called the frat house and had a policeman go get him.

"It's a good thing he wasn't having too much Saturday afternoon (fun). I told the coaches, 'Hey, an intoxicated Brodus is better than nobody. Just get him here and we'll do a Breathalyzer.' Fortunately, he didn't have anything bad."

Despite getting the call a mere 50 minutes before kickoff, Brodus -- a redshirt freshman walk-on who doesn't suit up -- made it to the game in time to boot a 21-yard field goal and convert all three extra-point attempts.

"I was just laying on the couch watching football," Brodus said. "Honestly, I didn't know what was going on. I thought it was a dream.

"I answered the phone and they just told me to come to the stadium as soon as possible."

That was Derrick Brodus, rush chairman, and he was damn glad to meet you.

■ COLTS COULD LUCK OUT -- In the wake of Indianapolis' 0-8 start, Colts owner Jim Irsay tweeted, "Stay faithful, Colts Fans, we're gonna get thru this darkness/If changes r needed, they'll b made, if continuity is needed, patience will b shown."

Translation: "Who cares if we go 0-16? We're gonna get Andrew Luck to be the heir apparent to Peyton Manning."

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL