It was somewhat funny while it lasted, but the mixed martial arts phony known as Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson is history. His 15 minutes of fame ended in a 14-second flurry Saturday night.
The hairy behemoth was decked by an ordinary jab and knocked out by unheralded Seth Petruzelli in an EliteXC fight in Sunrise, Fla.
Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports summed up the fiasco: "It was just a matter of time before Kimbo got exposed. He was little more than a character out of central casting, a bunch of addictive YouTube videos and a lot of insane hype by CBS, which made him a headliner before he made himself a fighter.
"He was Kimbo the Cash Machine, everyone lining up to exploit the lie that this was the baddest man on earth as long as he could walk through hand-picked tomato cans."
Slice charged across the ring at Petruzelli and was put on his back. Petruzelli pounded and clowned Slice in a skirmish that was stopped in 14 seconds.
Wetzel said Slice’s pathetic performance will "put an end (we hope) to one of the great sporting charades of all time."
But there’s no feeling sorry for Slice, who did not even land a punch and was paid $500,000, according to MMAweekly.com.
"Slice remained the only likable character of this foolish farce," Wetzel wrote. "He wasn’t the one claiming he was the best in the world. He was just a working-class dude who figured out how to beat the system."
* MANNY-RED SOX REUNION? — The ideal World Series matchup, for purposes of fan interest, newspaper columnists and TV ratings, would pit the Red Sox against the Dodgers.
There would be Joe Torre, former manager of the Yankees, leading his new team into Boston. And there would be former Red Sox malcontent Manny Ramirez returning to the Green Monster.
After Ramirez pounded Chicago Cubs pitching in a three-game sweep, T.J. Simers of The Los Angeles Times took a look ahead: "The Cubs intentionally walked Manny twice. Do you think the Red Sox will intentionally walk Manny in the World Series?"
It’s a dream scenario for Boston fans, who probably want to see a Josh Beckett fastball under the chin make Ramirez fall faster than Kimbo Slice.
* THE NEVER-ENDING SLUMP — Simers on the Cubs, after their postseason knockout by the Dodgers: "When the Cubs failed to win the World Series in 1909, do you think someone said, ‘Just wait until next year?’ " Here’s guaranteeing one thing Cubs fans will see next year — Alfonso Soriano swinging wildly at curveballs in the dirt.
* FISHING IS FOR PIGS — In his first year as Arkansas football coach, Bobby Petrino has been a bust. Petrino, who ditched the Atlanta Falcons 13 games into last season, is suffering a beating.
The Razorbacks (2-3) lost to Alabama, Texas and Florida the past three weeks by a combined score of 139-31.
But there is a reason for Arkansas fans to do their "Woo Pig Sooey" chant: The Razorbacks are No. 1 in the poles — they recently captured the BoatU.S. National Collegiate Bass Fishing Championship.
COMPILED BY MATT YOUMANS REVIEW-JOURNAL