NHL award presenters not hooked on phonics

Comedian Jay Mohr hosted the NHL Awards this week at the Palms. But the biggest laugh was gotten by "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" cast members Camille Grammer and Adrienne Maloof when they butchered the name of Tampa Bay Lightning right wing Martin St. Louis (mar-TAN san-loo-EE).

On hand to present the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy, Grammer and Maloof confidently announced the winner's name in unison: "Martin Saint Lewis."

But take it easy on Grammer, ex-wife of actor Kelsey Grammer, and Maloof, sister of Maloof brothers George, Joe and Gavin, all of whom own the Sacramento Kings.

After all, there were three finalists for the award. That's a lot of names to memorize.

Mohr also flubbed a famous hockey name during the live TV broadcast, calling former Detroit Red Wings star Steve Yzerman (EYE-zer-man) Steve "WHY-zer-man."

The error ignited an instant firestorm on Twitter, which Mohr addressed after a commercial break, telling the "Twitterverse" to relax while assuring them he wasn't drunk and had simply made a mistake.

After the gaffe by Grammer and Maloof, Mohr said: "We're even. I said 'Why-zer-man' and they said 'Saint Lewis.' "

■ OCTOPICKS -- A German aquarium's new octopus oracle has gone out on one of her eight limbs by choosing underdog Canada to beat Germany on Sunday in the opening match of the Women's World Cup.

Sea Life Aquarium's octopus Paula -- an heir apparent to the late, legendary octo-picker Paul -- shot quickly into a tube marked with Canada's flag to grab a morsel of food Friday in an event broadcast live on national TV (Germans obviously don't need the "Real Housewives of Hamburg" to be entertained).

Octopi at Sea Life's seven other German aquaria were divided in their picks for the match. Three chose Germany, one took Canada and three made no choice at all.

We're siding with the savvy octopi who made no choice at all. Like them, we have no interest in handicapping the Women's World Cup and would rather starve than sully the memory of Paul, who died in October after picking eight straight winners in last year's World Cup.

In related news, monkeys have banded together to protest octopi replacing them in cliches such as, "A monkey could make better picks than you."

■ NOT HIGH ON NIKE -- Nike Inc. is being blasted for replacing its signature "Just Do It" slogan on some T-shirts with the phrases "Dope," "Get High" and "Ride Pipe."

The shoe and athletic apparel company said the terms are part of the lingo used by the extreme sports participants it's trying to target with the shirts. But critics say the slogans endorse drug use.

"It's gone past edgy," said Tom Parker, spokesman for the Oregon Partnership. "Sure it is the language of skateboarders and surfers, but it's also the language of addicts."

At this rate, Nike's next line of shirts will combine its slogans, with "Dope" and "Get High" on the front and "Just Do It" on the back.

Just don't do it, Nike.

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL