NCAA president can’t seem to learn or find the truth

I am guessing in another life, Mark Emmert wasn't employed to vet political candidates.

Or, for that matter, garbage men.

Emmert is the NCAA president who seems to have an issue with either knowing or telling the truth, and I'm not sure which is worse.

This much is certain: His office hasn't hired any descendants of Perry Mason for its enforcement staff.

I really believed the NCAA would take at least six months to top how it bungled its investigation into Shabazz Muhammad's recruitment to UCLA, that it couldn't in such a short time possibly outdo one of its female attorneys whispering pillow-talk details of the case to her boyfriend, who then repeated such information during a plane ride, essentially killing the probe and allowing Muhammad to be deemed eligible.

We now know that fiasco was merely an appetizer to the five-course meal of dysfunction the enforcement department owns.

A short version: The NCAA has for some time been building a case against the University of Miami following claims by a booster that, over a span of eight years, he supplied athletes with extra benefits like cash, prostitutes, sex parties on yachts, financing abortions for girlfriends, all the usual perks a football player can expect to receive on a Friday night in South Beach.

The booster is Nevin Shapiro, whose current address is a federal prison in Atlanta. Nevin, you see, is a convicted Ponzi schemer. He's serving 20 years, a real doozy who reportedly has ties to the drug world and whose stepfather was more con man than Chuck Ponzi himself.

Shapiro has said that Miami coaches and other staff members were well aware of the benefits he provided, meaning the NCAA just might have had the entire athletic program by, well, its Hurricanes.

Until someone at the NCAA hired Shapiro's personal attorney to depose witnesses and collect information on its behalf.

Until it tried to obtain subpoena power it doesn't have, taking testimony of a former Miami assistant equipment manager and a sports agent about NCAA rules violations during a bankruptcy case of Shapiro's former investment company.

Maria Elena Perez is the attorney, and already the Florida Bar has opened a file on her for possible ethics violations. You would think she won't be a finalist for the American Bar Association medal.

Emmert, meanwhile, is now having to investigate his own investigation, which will likely still result in charges against Miami, but with an accompanying egg on the NCAA's face.

Embarrassed doesn't begin to describe its president.

"This is obviously a shocking affair," Emmert told reporters on a conference call last week. "We have to get the answer to, how did this individual who was working with Shapiro end up engaging in these activities on our behalf?

"It's stunning that this has transpired."

I'll give the guy this: He was quicker than most of the athletes under his organization's umbrella in avoiding any hint of blame for the fact his enforcement division appears as if it works straight out of Mayberry R.F.D.

Emmert, however, did admit he is concerned the public has lost all confidence in his organization.

Yeah. LeBron James is also tall.

Emmert has been on the job for a little over two years, during which time he has mostly focused on things like academic reform and creating a rules book Stephen Hawking might understand. All the while, a series of enforcement scandals handled poorly by the organization have defined his short tenure.

This Miami mess is an all-time goof.

It also falls directly at his feet.

This is his house. The enforcement division is the most high-profiled, controversial, scrutinized arm of the NCAA. Emmert shouldn't have just his thumb on the staff members investigating athletes and their programs, but his arms and legs and head.

This is the same president who last summer severely overstepped his authority in handing out sanctions against Penn State in relation to the Jerry Sandusky case, whose office mishandled cases involving athletes such as Muhammad and Cam Newton and Reggie Bush.

The NCAA lacked credibility in the eyes of most before the news about a botched Miami investigation hit.

Now?

"I have been vocal in the past regarding the need for integrity by NCAA member schools, athletics administrators, coaches and student-athletes," Emmert said. "That same commitment to integrity applies to all of us in the NCAA national office."

There is a good chance he said that with a straight face.

Which begs the question: How does he still have a job?

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at egraney@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-4618. He can be heard from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday through Friday on "Gridlock," ESPN 1100 and 98.9 FM. Follow him on Twitter: @edgraney.