Stupid teen didn’t deserve Tasering

My friends and I have always had a term for it: Yellow-Jacket Guy. We have always imagined each of them is named Roy, sort of like the guy at the gym wearing the tank top six sizes too small, baggy basketball shorts even though he's never taken a jumper in his life and doing push-ups while grunting as if he is pulling a firetruck with his teeth.

You know. That guy.

Thing is, the guy in question here, the guy who Tasered a teenager for running onto the field during a Cardinals-Phillies game Monday night, wasn't just some former high school offensive lineman who wears one of those yellow security jackets at sporting events and acts as if donning it allows him supreme and almighty power.

This guy was a policeman.

First things first: Steven Consalvi, the 17-year-old who ran foolishly onto the field, should be made to walk through life the next year wearing a dunce cap. When you carry out such an act of stupidity, you get what you deserve.

Question is, did he deserve the Taser?

It's not that simple. We have seen time and again instances when lunatics emerge from the stands at sporting events and inflict harm to athletes and coaches. Gunter Parche stabbing Monica Seles. A deranged father-son duo attacking Tom Gamboa of the Royals. The drunk who went after Billy Spiers of the Astros. Mike Sanford nearly tripping over television wires at Iowa State and screaming to speak to the athletic director.

Check that. Different type of lunacy.

Point is, crazy people do crazy things.

But there has to be middle ground between reacting to what could be life-threatening acts and watching some kid being chased around a field enough to make you want to stand and scream, "Run, Forrest! Run!" There has to be a way to differentiate danger from buffoonery and not have the latter end with some overzealous policeman firing off his electroshock weapon.

My father was a policeman in Chicago. He's more old-school than Chuck Taylors. The man went to sleep one night in 1955 and doesn't yet know a year has since passed. He would have probably favored dragging young Mr. Consalvi into the rowdiest, drunkest section of Citizens Bank Park. Just feed him to the lions and watch the carnage.

Or at least make him watch the rest of the game with his head on the lap of the Phillies fan who intentionally vomits on children.

But you'd like to believe more rational views have made their way into 2010. I don't want to hear about how police don't have time in such an instance to react accordingly based on the level of potential danger.

They do if they are good at their jobs and have received proper training. Every city in America has countless policemen who would have not used a Taser on Monday. Good cops. Smart ones. Ones who can defuse a situation with as much intelligence as action.

Watch the videotape from Monday. The policeman in question was so intent on firing his Taser, he at one point checks the gun, seemingly to make sure it was working. This guy was more amped up to take a shot than John Rambo was on the Burmese army.

The policeman appeared to be shooting more than once, meaning it's a good thing Juan Castro was paying attention at shortstop, or that poor kid might have also fallen to the ground like a dead bird shot from the sky and landed on the 15-day disabled list.

Here's the issue: More and more, the guys chasing nut-jobs are in poorer and poorer condition. More and more, those entrusted with keeping the peace are too out of shape to be put in such a position.

It's just reality. Men's Health doesn't go looking for its cover models each month in press boxes where sports writers work. Certain jobs should demand certain levels of fitness. The policeman in question normally works bike patrol, but I'm not sure he would have caught the teenager even pursuing on a 10-speed.

Restrictions need to be tougher on who is allowed to serve and protect. Tasers don't normally cause major damage, but a 2008 report found more than 50 cases in which the shock contributed to death.

Howard Stern said they should have shot the kid. I mean, really shot him.

Yeah. A tad harsh.

The Taser might have been, too.

Stupid teenager and overzealous policeman. A bad mix from the start.

Never thought I'd miss Morganna this much.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at egraney@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-4618.