Why did FIFA’s Blatter resign? Follow the money

I suppose all we need now is Jack Warner denouncing an article in The Onion about Will Ferrell being named the new president of FIFA, given the actor’s tight grasp of soccer’s intricate facets from his work in “Kicking & Screaming.”

Maybe the two Italian kids can become vice presidents, given no one from their country has been indicted.

The gift that is the corrupt and disgraced governing body of soccer just keeps on giving. Sepp Blatter, the smug and defiant president who on Friday was elected to an unprecedented fifth term, resigned Tuesday amid the worst scandal in FIFA’s 111-year history.

It took four days for the empire to begin crumbling, which I suppose gives us all hope the NCAA eventually might be dismantled piece by piece from its current inequitable state.

No image more perfectly captured Blatter’s surprising exit than those who tweeted a picture of Richard Nixon giving the victory sign while boarding the White House helicopter shortly after resigning the presidency in 1974.

Question is, will Sepp need a pardon?

Who will be his Gerald Ford?

“I have thoroughly considered my presidency and thought about my presidency,” Blatter said when announcing his decision to turn and run as fast as his 79-year-old legs allow. “The challenges that FIFA is facing have not come to an end. FIFA needs profound restructuring. Although the members of FIFA have given me the mandate and re-elected me president, this mandate doesn’t seem to be supported by everyone in the world of football.”

Translation: Everyone who isn’t from those small, poor, starving countries of which Blatter secured votes for so many years wanted the guy out.

So why his sudden change of heart?

Why just a few days after promising “I do not forget,” a direct threat at those who opposed his candidacy and requested he not run again, did Blatter resign?

Simple. Follow the money.

It’s a catchphrase popularized by the 1976 movie “All The President’s Men,” suggesting a money trail or corruption scheme within high (often political) office. It was attributed on the big screen to Deep Throat, the informant who took part in revealing the Watergate Scandal.

There is also such a trail with FIFA, and it’s closer to Blatter today than ever.

He was asked Saturday if he feared arrest in the wake of 14 individuals, including nine FIFA officials, being indicted by the U.S. Department of Justice and FBI on allegations of corruption and bribery.

“Arrested for what?” Blatter responded. “Next question.”

On Monday, The New York Times reported that Blatter’s top FIFA lieutenant made $10 million in bank transactions that are key elements in the bribery scandal. Jerome Valcke, acting as the organization’s secretary general, reportedly transferred the money in 2008 to accounts controlled by Warner, one of those indicted for allegedly taking a bribe in exchange for South Africa securing the right to host the 2010 World Cup.

In short, this is how the last week went for FIFA:

Arrests and indictments were followed by Blatter’s re-election, which was followed by those closest to him being suspected of bribery, which was followed by his resignation.

A sequence of serendipity?

Probably not.

It was reported Tuesday that Blatter is indeed under investigation by U.S. officials for his potential part in the corruption, and there is hope those already under indictment will offer evidence against him. The feds want to see how many of the 14 might flip on Blatter when trying to save themselves.

The only things missing now are Jack Woltz and a horse’s head.

“The last 40 years of my life were closely related to FIFA and this wonderful sport of football,” Blatter said. “I appreciate and love FIFA more than anything else, and I only want to do the best for football and FIFA. Our institution.”

That’s the problem. The institution.

The entire rotten system.

Blatter merely has been a byproduct, although quite a large one, of a much bigger issue. His resignation is a start but in no way will turn FIFA into an honest, law-abiding organization overnight.

Not if the voting structure doesn’t change.

Not if those 133 countries that cast ballots for Blatter on Friday champion the same egregious ways in how they support their next favorite candidate who buys them off with soccer facilities and jobs and perhaps just duffel bags full of cash.

Consider: Blatter said he will remain in charge until a new election, which reportedly will take place between December and March 2016. This will allow time, FIFA officials say, to properly vet candidates.

How in the world do you suspect that process will be carried out?

Who could be trusted at this point?

I suppose Will Ferrell and the Italian kids could be, and maybe we could get Mike Ditka to pardon Blatter.

The gift that is the world’s sport just keeps on giving.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at egraney@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-4618. He can be a heard on “Seat and Ed” on KRLV 1340 from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday. Follow him on Twitter: @edgraney.