Are you there, God? It’s me, Cliven

Ranting racist rancher Cliven Bundy, a never-ending well of dubious entertainment, is back in the papers. This time, he’s saying his April standoff with Bureau of Land Management officers and Metro Police was a spiritual battle, with Bundy and his supporters on the side of the Lord, and the cops in the role of evildoers.

Bundy, who has allowed his cattle to graze on publicly owned land for about 20 years while refusing to pay his federal grazing fees, called for a range war when the BLM moved in to enforce a court order to seize his animals. Heavily armed, self-styled militia members flocked to his ranch, and some even pointed their weapons at law enforcement officers, but no one was injured. Ultimately, the BLM backed off to avoid an armed confrontation, but the incident remains under investigation.

Now, religion is a very personal thing, and in America, you’re entitled to believe anything you want unmolested. But here’s the thing: If you claim to, say, follow the teachings of the Bible, then you have some explaining to do when the things you do and say contradict what’s in the Bible, right?

Let’s take a look at what Bundy is tossing out there:

“If the standoff with the Bundys was wrong, would the Lord have been with us?” Bundy asked at an Independent American Party meeting in Utah recently. “Could those people that stood (with me) without fear and went through that spiritual experience … have done that without the Lord being there? No, they couldn’t.”

Objection, your honor! Bundy assumes facts not in evidence, including that the Lord was with him. In fact, it was the concern that people could be shot over grazing fees that prompted the BLM to back off, which kind of puts them on the right side of his little drama. Bundy — who created the problem in the first place by not paying legally required fees — and the armed insurrectionists who supported him were the ones who put lives in jeopardy.

Besides, doesn’t the Lord want you to pay your grazing fees?

Didn’t Jesus say, “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesars”? (Mark 12:17)

Didn’t the Apostle Paul write:

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. (Romans 13:1-3)

And:

Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. (Romans 13:6-7)

(Also, grazing fees!)

Didn’t the Apostle Peter write: “…fear God, honor the king”? (I Peter 2:17)

Hmmm?

Instead, Bundy says God told him something entirely different: “The Lord told me … if (the local sheriff doesn’t) take away these arms from federal agents, we the people will have to face these arms in a civil war. He said, ‘This is your chance to straighten this thing up,’” Bundy said.

Really, Cliven? The Lord told you that? Are you totally sure it was him? Because it sounds more like this guy:

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:4)

Remember, it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference.

And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14)

Plus, this God-via-Cliven-Bundy quote — from Esquire magazine back in April — also seems somewhat suspicious: “The crowd, fresh off their victory at the Battle of Bunkerville, gives Bundy a standing ovation. But he doesn’t seem pleased. He reproaches the crowd for failing to follow the word of God – to the letter – which he says is being delivered through him. They failed, for example, to follow his instructions to tear down the toll booths at Lake Mead and disarm the Park Service.

“‘The message I gave to you all was a revelation that I received. And yet not one of you can seem to even quote it.’”

So God told you to tear down the Lake Mead toll booths? Are you sure? That sounds more like juvenile vandals or frat pledges to me. Tell me, did he say anything about tossing cherry bombs in toilets?

So, we’ve clearly established that the Bible says pay your taxes and respect the law. And we’ve clearly established that Bundy has not paid his taxes and does not respect the law. Yet Bundy claims to follow the Bible, while at the same time, receiving direct revelations from God that contradict the book that God purportedly inspired.

What’s wrong with this picture?