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Concert And Meal Review: My Salad Sucked at The Burger Bar

Right, yes, you’re correct as usual: Don’t order a salad at a "Burger" bar, especially when the sign says "Burger Bar."

Stephanie and I ate there today at Mandalay Place in between events I’m writing about in the coming days. Her burger? "This tomato should not look like this," she said. The burger was "just fine." And my salad? "Starbucks makes a better chef salad," Stephanie said. We aren’t even food snobs. We’re just eaters. Anyway, my cobb salad featured runt squares of chicken that might as well have been from a can. Flat dressing. But my side of asparagus was somewhat tasty. All-in-all rating: One and one-half out of four wilted tomato slivers.

The music was good — some ambient trance, though there was also unfortunate early ’80s synth rhythm-and-pop.

It’s been a typically OK-but-not-great weekend for walk-by music. In the parking garage at Mirage today, we endured DeBarge’s "Rhythm of the Night," an old "hit" that should have been subtitled, "The Rhythm of Suck." In the mall between Luxor and Mandalay Bay, they pumped Butterly Boucher’s "I Can’t Make Me Love You," a great-great song.

The other night, Lowe’s on Eastern was consistently acceptable while we shopped for hummingbird feeders. Tops for ears: The Cure’s "Friday I’m In Love" and Cyndi Lauper’s "All Through The Night."

Attention hotels, stores, grocers and malls: I know you want to spin familiar music that offends the least amount of people. But DeBarge offends my soul and many, many people’s rightful states of being. You can’t win for losing. So hire some of those turntablists and vinylists around Vegas to spin together female-vocal trip hop and rock-pop smash-ups. Or play Sirius’s Chill, Area 33 and Left of Center stations. I know what I’m talking about.

People would love it. By "people," I mean me.

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