58°F
weather icon Clear

How bad is the economy?

This little Internet ditty crossed my computer this weekend. Not sure where it originated, but there's a lot of truth to it, I'm afraid.

"The economy is so bad that ...

— CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

— Even people who had nothing to do with the Obama Administration aren't paying their taxes.

— If the bank returns your check marked 'insufficient funds,' you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

— Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer, and Citigroup.

— McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

— Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

— A truck of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

— The most highly paid job now is jury duty.

— Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

— People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

— Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

— The Mafia is laying off judges.

— Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

— And finally...Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Hey, neat! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear!"

Don't miss the big stories. Like us on Facebook.
THE LATEST
Dropicana road closures — MAP

Tropicana Avenue will be closed between Dean Martin Drive and New York-New York through 5 a.m. on Tuesday.

The Sphere – Everything you need to know

Las Vegas’ newest cutting-edge arena is ready to debut on the Strip. Here’s everything you need to know about the Sphere, inside and out.