Louie the Butcher missed his chance

Some years ago my friend Lem Banker the sports bettor was on a roll. His handicapping was skillet hot, and he invited his friend Louie the Butcher to follow his plays.

Louie, who came by his nickname the hard way as a member of organized crime, saw Banker’s amazing success streak, but still balked at following his pal.

If I wasn’t at the wedding, I’m not going to the funeral,” he said.

Eventually Banker’s luck cooled off and Louie the Butcher could comfort himself that he hadn’t missed the kind of winning streak that comes along once in a decade for even the best sports bettors.

Louie finally got his walking papers from the college he’d been forced to attend at government expense. And he still doesn’t listen to Lem’s advice.