Rest assured, HBO star Bill Maher will lampoon Donald Trump when he performs Saturday and Sunday at the Palms. After all, The Donald is suing Maher for $5 million.
Last year, Maher simply told a joke: He would pay Trump $5 million if Trump could prove he was not the love child of an orangutan. Trump proclaimed he is not half-ape and sued to try to collect that money.
Trump’s lawyer sent Maher a letter fragranced with this classic quote:
“Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan.”
So Maher is piling on The Donald.
“I’m almost embarrassed to be in a feud with this man because I feel like he’s a cheap pop reference from the 1980s.
“It’s kind of like being in a spat with J.R. Ewing.”
Meanwhile, Maher is trying to process this other weird Trump information:
Howard Stern recently asked Trump to play the brain game “sex-marry-kill” with his options being Maher, President Barack Obama and Seth Meyers. Trump chose to marry Obama, sex Maher and kill Meyers.
Maher seems disappointed he got the short end of that stick.
“I wonder why he hates Seth Meyers more than me?” Maher asks.
I tell Maher it could be because Meyers joked, “Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.”
Maher says, “That’s worse than me accusing his mother of having sex with monkeys? OK. I’m a little insulted.”
Maher is very excited for this weekend’s shows at the Palms. They mark his new residency in the hotel.
“Vegas needs more traditional, nondolphin and non-Cirque du Soleil acts. I’m not a dolphin, and I’m not an acrobat. Let’s see if that can work.”
He might also have some pope jokes because TV news has covered the new pope’s ascension endlessly.
“If I see one more fawning story about the pope. ‘Oh my God, he walked across the street, what a genius,’ ” Maher says.
“They talk about him like he’s a 2-year-old who made a boom-boom.”
Nightclubs continue to steal away famous DJ-producers from rival clubs.
On Wednesday, MGM’s Wet Republic dayclub announced upcoming show dates by performers who were associated with other clubs last year.
■ Wet Republic will stage former Marquee performers Tommy Trash (March 30) and Hardwell (April 20).
■ Wet Republic also announced dates for these former Wynn-Encore resident DJs: Calvin Harris (April 7 and April 27); Nervo (April 14); Deadmau5 (April 21); and Steve Aoki (April 28).
Wait, there’s more.
The upcoming Light club in Mandalay Bay will open April 26 with Nicky Romero (formerly of Marquee/Tao), followed by an April 27 show by Axwell (formerly of Wynn-Encore).
Wyclef Jean chowed on crab spinach dip and a strip steak, and chased it with a mai tai, at the Palms’ Heraea restaurant Tuesday, in the company of friends and business people.
And English boy band The Wanted performed a few songs at Mirage’s 1 Oak nightclub after midnight Tuesday. Two band mates (Nathan Sykes and Siva Kaneswaran) split after the performance, but three band members (Jay McGuiness, Tom Parker and Max George) partied till 4 a.m. with a group of Vegas girls.
Doug Elfman’s column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.