MY COUSIN VINNY(speak)

Judge Haller: Uh... did you say "utes"?

Vinny: Yeah, two utes.

Judge Haller: What is a ute?

In college football, this season’s real national champion.

Why is this even debatable? You can have your BCS championship and Associated Press poll. Both today have as much flavor as your leftover holiday candy.

Utah is No. 1 to anyone with a brain.

Think about it: You have a son. He plays Little League. There are no playoffs. At season’s end, his team is the only one with an undefeated record, but when it comes time to hand out the largest trophies and declare a champion, a team with one loss receives the big prize. Your son wonders how in the world this is possible. You have no answer. You take the kid for ice cream and hope he forgets all about the real-life nightmare.

It’s a scenario as foolish as the one college football just handed us yet again. Don’t even start with the strength of conference argument. Watch bowl games. Parity long ago closed the gap in talent and skill across the country.

Did you see Florida struggle to beat Alabama in the SEC championship?

Did you see Utah dominate Alabama in the Sugar Bowl?

It would be like the Lakers winning Game 7 of the NBA Finals against the Celtics but David Stern proclaiming Boston as champion because he hates the colors purple and gold.

By the way, a big kudos to Mark Anderson of the Review-Journal, who gave Utah his No. 1 vote in the AP poll. This, despite Mark being a Florida graduate and resident Gators lunatic.

Mark’s obviously an intelligent person whose brain has yet to turn to mush, amazing when you consider how many UNLV football games he has had to watch the past several years.