Feel angry? Anxious? Depressed and sad? Are you afraid you will lose your pet? Paranoid? Hopeless?
If so, you might have HOA Syndrome.
The Las Vegas legal tabloid Wild Wild Law took a playful punch today at Henderson attorney Kurt Harris, who is aggressively looking for clients who show most or all the symptoms of the syndrome, so-named because only people who live in neighborhoods with homeowners associations are apparently allowed to be restless, stressed out, unhappy in their own home and afraid to let their children play outside.
But Harris has friends in academia to help bolster his client base.
From 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday at the Henderson campus of the College of Southern Nevada, CSN professor Gary Soloman will hold a HOA Syndrome Seminar.
Soloman believes HOAs deliberately and systematically target homeowners with “minor if not non-existent infractions” for the sole purpose of generating revenue.
“Like ravenous parasites, these organizations feed off of fear-based harassment,” he writes. “The homeowner, now locked into a mortgage, feels powerless over the HOA’s relentless hounding for more and more money.”
Soloman’s seminar will be held in room C133. CSN’s Henderson campus is located at 700 College Drive, between Horizon Drive and Foothill High School.
Harris for his part created one of the cheesier law firm Websites with his HOA Busters (who are you going to call?).
The site features two versions, classic and new, of a “Twilight Zone” episode that involves “monsters” coming to Maple Street. The plot in a nutshell: Neighbors turn on each other after a mysterious power outage hits that is so extreme phones won’t ring, radios won’t broadcast and even cars refuse to start.
Somewhere in there is a metaphor for the taking, but I frankly was so intrigued with the show – I prefer the classic version – I forgot to look for Harris’ point.
Long story short: If the medical world declares HOF Syndrome is a valid psychiatric disorder caused by Machiavellian leaders of homeowners associations, well, we suspect there would be multiple thousands of clients with cases.
The only question that remains is this one: Are the pockets deep enough to make everybody happy?
Doubtful. In fact, we have a feeling many stressed out HOAers will remain depressed and sad.
Perhaps Wild Wild Law put it best: What do you do when business is slow? Create your own niche, of course.
If you're Kurt Harris, you make up an ailment, then you get an "expert" to legitimize it, then you offer to sue on behalf of people with your made-up ailment. Genius!