How to prevent a curling injury

Sometimes when there is a major news story, publicity people send out a news release and an email advertising their client’s expertise in the major news story topic. And a phone number, should you want to set up an interview.

This may — or may not — explain why I received a missive from the TASC Group, saying that orthopaedic surgeon Dr. Bradford Parsons was available for expert commentary on Olympic curling injuries.

I happen to enjoy curling, or at least I did until the Russian women were knocked out of medal competition. I’m not sure that qualifies as a major news story, though.

Dr. Parsons, a shoulder specialist at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City, says curlers should not let their feet leave the ice, because when that happens, a curler may slip and/or fall.

Carrying his or her curling broom at all times can prevent a fall, Dr. Parsons said.

He added that a curler should not attempt to pick up the curling stone with his or her hands because — you guessed it — a curler could slip and/or fall.

(Also, a curling rock could have cooties. It may have been handled by a Russian head of state who walks around bare-chested, like Ted Nugent, for instance.)

Dr. Parsons did not say one should not run while carrying a sharp stick when one is curling, because one could poke one’s eye out.

One’s mother probably said that. But not in a news release or an email.