It has come to this when Floyd Mayweather Jr. fights: The only things missing are Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell and a groundhog.
It’s the same thing, over and over. The same hype, the same buildup, the same outclassed opponents.
At this point, Phil Connors the weatherman might have as good a chance as anyone of defeating Mayweather.
Canelo Alvarez sure didn’t.
Unless you are a boxing judge named C.J. Ross, who somehow scored Saturday’s mega fight a draw at 114-114.
(The other two judges, who unlike Ross had eyes that worked, had Mayweather winning by scores of 116-112 and 117-111.)
I have stopped trying to make sense of some judges, many who have become as much part of the lunacy and buhfoonery and idiocy of boxing as the entourages and hanger-ons looking to get someone coffee or massage a champion’s feet.
Ross also is one of two judges who scored a win for Timothy Bradley over Manny Pacquiao last year.
Say this for Ross: She remains consistently inept when evaluating huge fights.
How anyone who watched Saturday’s fight live or, sadly, paid the elevated pay-per-view price tag that came with it, could think Alvarez was a missed right hand from being anywhere close in points is beyond reason.
Ross gave six rounds to Alvarez. Six.
I’m not sure he got one. Maybe a mercy round. Maybe one.
It’s maddening and yet as much part of the boxing scene as scantily dressed ring card girls and overhyped promotions, but it doesn’t make it right. A final card such as the one Ross submitted is shameful for both her and the Nevada Athletic Commission who selected her to judge the fight.
It’s embarrassing. A travesty, really.
For everyone with a clue: They should have stopped the fight Saturday after six rounds and allowed Lil Wayne and Justin Bieber to take things from there, let those stars who helped lead Mayweather into the ring at the MGM Grand Garden Arena bring excitement to a main event that wasn’t close in any manner.
I would make Lil Wayne a minus-220 favorite.
These are the things you think about now when watching Mayweather tear others up, this time taking home the WBC and WBA junior middleweight belts.
Suggestion to whoever fights Mayweather next: Don’t rehydrate. Don’t attempt to get any bigger than you are on a scale when the time comes to weigh-in. Alvarez was 165 pounds — a good 15 more than Mayweather — when the opening round began Saturday.
He fought like he weighed 260.
“He is a great fighter,” Alvarez said. “Simply, I couldn’t catch him. He’s a very intelligent fighter. We were trying to catch him. The (additional 15 pounds) were negated because I couldn’t catch him. He’s very elusive. Frustration was getting in there.”
Too slow, man. Too slow. It was the same with Juan Manuel Marquez and to a point Miguel Cotto when each engaged Mayweather. Can’t hit him. Can’t get to him.
You won’t read it often in this space, but Floyd Mayweather Sr., couldn’t have made more sense when he predicted how things would transpire: He said Alvarez would be no more a threat than a sparring partner.
He was all of that and less. He was a punching bag.
In short, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The arena announcer continued shouting, “Coming up, the biggest fight in the history of boxing!” as the time drew near for Mayweather-Alvarez.
I love boxing hyperbole. I’m also grateful the night’s biggest story wasn’t Angel Garcia cutting off his own head.
The father and trainer of junior middleweight champion Danny Garcia suggested he might meet the same fate as Sir Walter Raleigh should his son lose his title to Lucas Matthysse. All heads remained in tact, but Garcia-Matthysse lived up to the hype.
It’s a fight most would like to see again.
The same can’t be said for Ishe Smith against Carlos Molina. Smith is the Las Vegan who lost his IBF junior middleweight title in a 12-round split decision that wasn’t completely like death to watch, but was in the neighborhood. It was an awful display of nothing from both fighters and the fact Smith awakes today no longer a champion is of his own doing.
Ditto for why Mayweather remains unbeaten.
“Canelo is a young, strong champion, a great Mexican champion,” Mayweather said. “I’m not in control of the judges. I got the job done. I continued to fight hard. When you are a young champion like Canelo, you can bounce back from a loss. I’ve been in this game for 17 years, and when you fight someone like me, that (experience) shows. My dad said I was tight, but I didn’t really feel that way.
“I really showed all my skills tonight, and I was really happy with my performance.”
It has become Punxsutawney. Over and over and over again.
The same apparently goes for CJ Ross scoring fights in a most ridiculous fashion.
Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at email@example.com or 702-383-4618. He can be heard from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday through Friday on “Gridlock,” ESPN 1100 and 98.9 FM. Follow him on Twitter: @edgraney.