The King of Country is retiring to his court.
After decades as one of the top concert draws in any genre, George Strait is quitting the road following the completion of his current “The Cowboy Rides Away Tour.”
Strait will continue to make new music and play sporadic shows here and there in select cities, he says, but his days of extensive gigging are over come June, when he completes the second and final leg of his farewell outing.
With Strait back in town on Saturday for his annual Super Bowl eve performance, which he’s been doing for more than a decade, we thought we’d get in on the spirit of the occasion and come up with some proposition bets regarding the man in question.
You’ll need to earn some cash if you’re going to try and buy a ticket to the show at this point (the highest priced ticket for the sold-out concert was going for $9,355 on Stubhub.com at the time of this writing).
So, take all the money that you were going to use to feed your children, head down to the nearest sports book, and demand that they take action on the following props with their corresponding odds:
■ That Strait will notch another No. 1 hit on the country charts, which would be his 61st: -200
■ That he will eventually earn more gold and platinum albums than Elvis and the Beatles, the only two acts he trails in that department; he currently has 84: +800
■ That he will ever don a pair of slacks in place of Wranglers: +1,500
■ That he will cut the legs off of a pair of said Wranglers and then prance around in his “fun britches”: +975
■ That his long-awaited autobiography will be titled “Strait Cash, Homie”: -300
■ That the competitive roper could lasso a steer in less time than it takes you to read about him lassoing a steer: -100
■ That he will be seated court-side when his beloved San Antonio Spurs choke away another NBA championship like they did in 2013: -200
■ That he will replace his trademark cowboy hat with one of those sweet plastic helmets that holds two cans of beer and comes adorned with a “Party Naked” sticker: +100
■ That he will star in a third installment of his “Pure Country” film series titled “Pure Country 3: Sh!@ Just Got Real”: +250
■ The over/under on the number of songs by Strait’s Vegas show opener, Miranda Lambert, in which a shotgun will be referenced: 3
■ That Strait will conclude his concert this weekend with a poignant, contemplative take on “What Does the Fox Say?”: -200
■ That he will create a companion album to his 2003 disc “Honkytonkville” dubbed “Radiofriendlyadultcomteporary-neotraditionalistcountryburg”: +500
■ That he will take a page from Pat Boone and record an album of country versions of heavy metal tunes, called “Hammer Smashed Honky Tonk,” which will feature such sure-fire classics as “Y’all Got Another Thing Coming,” “Faeries Wear Ariats,” “Line Dance of the Dead,” “(Ropin’ Me Some) Bulls on Parade” and more: +350
■ That at his final tour performance at AT&T Stadium, where the Dallas Cowboys play, he will invite Tony Romo onstage to duet on the quarterback’s theme song, “I’d Like to Have That One Back,” but Romo will fumble the mic at the end of the tune after doing so well for the first three quarters of the number: -300
■ That, once retired from the road, Strait will spend his new-found free time teaching obscene hand gestures to the chimpanzees at the local zoo: -100
■ That his stop at the MGM Grand Garden arena on Saturday really will be his last Vegas show: +1,000
■ That the notoriously press shy singer will grant the Review-Journal a rare interview after he finally stops laughing, weeks from now, upon reading this story: even money.
Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at firstname.lastname@example.org or 702-383-0476. Follow on Twitter @JasonBracelin.