In case you're not sure, size does matter.
That became obvious during a recent kerfuffle involving Subway and social media, a clear demonstration of the way news - or what passes for news - travels in our times.
It all started a few weeks ago when an Australian teen posted a picture on Subway's Facebook page of a Subway Footlong that was only 11 inches long. Then two guys from Jersey got in on the action and sued; their lawyer told the New York Post that of the Footlongs he'd ordered from 17 shops, none of them measured up.
First the company blamed it on the vagaries of raising and baking bread, which made sense. Then they said Footlong wasn't meant to connote measurement, which made us think they should've quit while they were ahead.
But the whole thing got us wondering just how close to a foot Las Vegas' Footlong sandwiches were.
And we didn't want to single out Subway. Plenty of sub-sandwich chains specify the length of their sandwiches, so we decided to put them to the test, purchasing sandwiches from five local shops.
And this is the tale of the tape.
A medium Bobbie, that Thanksgiving-dinner-on-a-bun with roasted turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing and mayo, was advertised at 12 inches but was actually closer to 12½ inches.
2. Jersey Mike's
A giant Jersey Shore's Favorite, with provolone, ham, capicola, lettuce, tomato and onions, was said to measure 15 inches but came in at 14¾.
3. Jimmy John's
It's right there on the menu: 8-inch sub sandwiches. So how long was our Vito, with Genoa salami, provolone, capicola, onion, lettuce and tomato? A solid 8¾ inches.
4. Port of Subs
Our large No. 1 came with ham, salami, capicola, pepperoni and provolone and exceeded the advertised 12 inches at 12¼ inches.
We entered Turkeytopia and loaded it up with veggies, and our Footlong was 12 inches, on the nose.